Thursday, October 10, 2013

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 141 Sloughing

Sloughing may refer to the act of shedding or casting off dead tissue.  

A friend once told me she thought that what I was experiencing was 'sloughing'.  I had to go home and look up the term.


I think I really am sloughing.


I have been receiving proofs from the graphic designer for the CD cover design.  My producer and the graphic designer are not agreeing on which photo to use.  I have my own preferences and the designer started with my preferences (thank you sir!).  But I trust my producer and so I have left this final decision up to them to work out.  They are professional creatives.  They can handle it.  


Me?  I need to slough.


I have to admit when I saw the first proofs I wanted to start sloughing.  Cast off dead tissue.  What is the dead tissue?  


Fear.  


Insecurity.


Doubts.

Is this the right choice of title?
Is this the right choice of photo and design?
What was I expecting?
Are those expectations being met?  (It's hard to know when you're not sure what you want in the first place.  You just know that you have spent years working on something and you want it to be the absolute best it can be.  First impressions are everything they say and so people will make decisions about this CD based on the cover if they haven't heard the music already).

These are the kinds of things that are dead skin from long ago and should have been shed by now.  Really?  Do I have to keep going through all this insecurity and self-doubt?

Someone asked me the other night - "so are you happy with the CD".  Of course I'm happy.  It's my baby.  It's a concept and a dream come true.  But of course I'm scared.  I wouldn't ask a mother if she was happy with her newborn.  Though I totally understand where they might have been coming from in their question, it sort of startled me.  

More dead skin to shed.

Tomorrow the final CD master will be sent out to me by mail for my approval.  My producer will also receive a copy for his approval.  I'll get the CD, sit down and listen.  

This is it.  

Time to stand up, shed the insecurities that still lurk in the shadows and move on.

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
The artist was sloughing, please pray for her spouse!