"The Elephant Diet" Day # 106 Christmas in Black and White

Just when I start wondering if I can really do this thing, I get a song in my 'inbox' to listen to and approve.  It happened again this morning.  I woke up to the song "Christmas in Black and White" in my mailbox.  It is glorious!

The song is an instrumental and is a medley of Silent Night, Angels We Have Heard On High, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and What Child is This.  I arranged it on piano (the black and white ivories...thus the name) with a story in mind.  It starts slowly, demonstrating determination around the holidays to NOT get too busy or stressed THIS year.  But every year, it never seems to fail, the pace picks up and I soon find myself very busy by the time Christmas arrives.  The tempo does the same thing on the piano and moves to a hurried pace by the time we get to the song "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen."  By the time we get to Dec. 25, we are all in need of tidings of comfort and joy.

After the hustle and bustle of God Rest Ye, we slowly move into the song What Child Is This, to remind us to slow down and enjoy the beautiful moments of the season.

The orchestration that Brian Green wrote around my piano parts are gorgeous!  As I listen, I can envision the orchestra on the stage with the grand piano playing this amazing medley.  I can't wait for you to hear it!

It's been a very busy week on top of the fact that my Mother's health has been dancing on the edge of disaster with two falls.  Fortunately, nothing is broken, but she is not able to walk on her own without a lot of pain.  When I go through this with her, it makes me wonder if I truly can sustain this pace of life if something happens to her.  It's the one thing that makes me hesitant to commit to this show.

In the meantime, I have a CD to think about and in two weeks I head to Nashville to start recording vocals.  That means I need to be rehearsing the songs and getting in shape for that.  I'm also trying to arrange a session with an image consultant who will help me pick out a wardrobe for the photo shoot in June.

Tomorrow night I do a concert for a women's event and I really need to get ready for that, plus work on the two songs we'll record in a couple of weeks.

Fortunately, I've been able to get good rest at night, rise around 5:15 a.m. and have plenty of time to start the day with prayer, scripture meditation and exercise.  It helps to keep my life in balance.

Someone recently sent me a blog post from Lance Wallnau and it was so good - I'd like to close out the week with this.  It's a good word about facing our fears when contemplating something big.

If it scares you, it simply means you are doing something you are not yet comfortable doing. That’s all. It does not mean you will get hurt and it doesn't mean you are not courageous. In fact, nobody is really courageous if they feel no fear. The courageous person is the one who does not let the fear they feel control them. In fact every time you move toward the thing you fear, you expand. Every time you do the thing you need to do in spite of fear, you redefine who you are to the one person whose opinion matters most - YOU. Every barrier you break, every fear you overcome, makes you larger on the inside.

What other people think is of little account as long as you guard the reputation you have with yourself. If the thing you are dancing around is not something that is going to cause you physical harm, you need to ask yourself - who will I become if I do this? Every reward you have in life is attached to your growth and your greatest growth comes when you risk something. And courage is not always a physical test. Some are physically courageous but timid in expressing their feelings or having that courageous conversation they have been avoiding. If it scares you - you should look at it twice and ask, "If I do this thing will it make me larger?" If the answer is yes - do it.

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 105 An Answer from HACC

I heard back from HACC already!  I didn't expect to hear so soon.

If I want the Christian Student Fellowship group to sponsor my event at no cost to me, the students must have a prominent role in the performance.

I've pondered this all day and I have come to the conclusion that I'm not sure that is the direction I want to go.  I'm already juggling a lot of things in my life without adding the complication of involving students I don't know on a professional level, especially since it's not a music or dance club or some kind of specialty club that is used to performing.

I honestly don't think I can manage a CD project, a big show, caring for my mother, working part time at the church, doing concerts and events already scheduled AND bring on a group of students too.  One must draw the line and I have the pencil.  : )

I am so delighted that I have made these contacts however, and you never know what might come of this in the future.  For now, I'm off to a good start with the school and felt warmly received from the very beginning.  I have been impressed with their prompt and professional responses.

I feel like I'm on my way to building a good lasting relationship with this school.  For now, I think I need to let go of the idea of having them sponsor the show.

An update on my mother.......I called the hospital on my way to the church last night (I had a meeting to lead) and they told me that she was about ready to be sent home.  The nurse from the retirement community where she lives called later and left me a message saying that they did x-rays and no bones have been broken or fractured.

Can you hear me sigh a big sigh of relief.   I could use two of me sometimes!  For now, the only one of me that I have is very grateful that she is ok.

Now off to a birthday party.  

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 104 Good News and Bad News

The Rose Lehrman Arts Center at HACC where I met Jean and Travis today.

Good news:   I met with Jean and Travis today at HACC.  They seem excited about the possibility of sponsoring my show and confirmed that if they did, there would certainly be benefits for both of us!  The next step is for them to take this idea to the student government group and a few other people to talk about details and the possibility of a contract so that all involved are clear on the deal.

They weren't sure that I could sell tickets if they sponsor the show, so that is a very important detail, but aside from that, I walked away feeling great about the connection no matter what happens in the end.  It was a profitable meeting and Travis - the new president elect of the Christian Student Fellowship Group - was excited about the possibility and shared that their group has never done something of this size but he liked the idea.  He even asked if we could begin our meeting with prayer.  Of course!!!!

Bad news:  As I walked out of the building to my car and felt my soul elevate to another level, I received a voice message that my Mother (who is 90) fell shortly before they called and they were taking her to the ER.  She was apparently complaining about pain in her left hip which is the hip she broke Feb. 13, 2012.  The doctor was so pleased with her progress at her last check up and told me that many people her age never make it this far.  My soul quickly fell from the elevated state it was just in a moment ago.

As I processed this information, I realized that one of my fears about doing this show is how my Mother will be health-wise. Is it safe for me to commit to such a big adventure at this point in her life? I always want to be available to her if she needs me.  A big show will certainly put a strain on my time with her.

On the drive home, I committed all of this to God, one more time, and asked Him to lead my steps and show me what to do.

I'll have to continue my Christmas shop story another day.....gotta run.