"The opportunity of a lifetime only lasts for the lifetime of the opportunity.
Seize the moment."
– Dave Hess
Dear Kirstin,
I know this week is difficult. After all, it's been exactly one year since we took a big step and hopped in the van to go to Nashville to seize the moment and follow your heart's desire to do a Christmas album. From the moment you suggested the album idea, I was ALL IN!
And we did it. We recorded Midwinter's Gift.
As the project was released to the world, later in November, you poured out your heart in frequent posts to help people get a sense of the monumental trek we took, geographically, musically and emotionally. I sat back and watched how unreservedly you shared your part of the story. I felt like I was a little kid who was invited to go on an adventure with you. I wanted to squeal with delight, but I let you take the lead in releasing it.
But now, knowing how hard it can be to move on after such an experience like we had, I wanted to give something back and share with you some excerpts from my journal – from that week in Nashville. So here's my unedited version, as I wrote it that week in Tennessee. Since it's history in the making, I've decided to make it a blog post so that others can savor the memories with us.
♬
Tuesday, August 2, 2022: (The trip down to Nashville)
Lovely ride down in the van. Alternated drivers – made good time
Cracker Barrel for lunch. Road trip. Listened to music
Ended up at Bristol Town Hall (City Hall) while looking for Cracker Barrel
Cowboy at Cracker Barrel – looking for land and/or roadkill?
The Red House @ The White Oak Farm
Wildwood Studio, looking at the deer (after we realized they had a surveillance camera)
Kroger's groceries
Cows in the yard
Deer P,
"We're in jail"
"We need air conditioning"
"Do you have a place we can stay?"
"The Pennsylvania van"
"Will there be crickets in the recording?"
♬
Wednesday, August 3, 2022:
♬
All the way down here, I felt rather numb. It's been over four years since I've been here. So much has happened. COVID, for one thing.
I've aged ... and I feel it. I've lost something.
I thought I'd never be back to this town, and I was honestly okay with that. I had a good run. I gave it all I had.
I'm loving the new season of house concerts and being home.
I have to let go of what was. Embrace new special moments. Make new memories.
A new friend in my life – Kirstin.
I don't know her well, but we seem to fit well together. It's not forced... it just slowly unfolds like a rose. I like it. Easy to work with and travel with. Forging new territory – piano and oboe. New producer, arranger, engineer, studio – it's all so different.
I need to just let go and let be. Unfold. Build new experiences. Don't mourn the old.
Love the little Airbnb – very quaint. Perfect for us. Out in the country... little horse farm... dogs... pool... two miles from Ed [previous Portraits of White conductor], two miles from studio and about five from downtown Franklin.
When we got near the Nashville city limits, my heart responded. When we passed exits where I've stayed, Seaboard Lane – where we did Inside Things and Fieldstone Parkway (Ed's territory) – my heart leaped.
Yet, I realized I've moved on. I've been forced to in some ways.
It's better to let go of what was and anticipate new things.
I never thought I'd be back. But here I am – and I love why I'm here. I love that Kirstin and I met through Portraits of White, but we're doing our own thing – like she says, it's an offshoot of the Portraits of White tree. It's not the tree, but it's a branch from it.
♬
I'm about to go do a photo shoot with Erick Anderson [and Kirstin].
Gray hair – I've kept my natural color. Tempting to color it for this, but it was pretty clear – I need to embrace my age and season in life and part of that is the gray hair.
We're so happy we did the Christmas in July events. Gave us real practice. Almost feels like the fans are with us. They've been part of the journey.
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Now we get to enjoy this moment in time. Making music in August, in the town I used to love.
♬
I believe something beautiful is at work here. I don't know what and I really don't care either. I'm just enjoying the ride. The music. The practicing.
I've learned so much as I've really tried to practice and find new approaches to learning the music. I can feel the mindset shift–from being easily distracted, to learning how to focus and stay in the moment. I overcame the mental hurdle of using the AirTurn pedal to turn pages. I'm on my way to memorizing and I've loved using my 3X5 index cards with various practice approaches.
I think a big indicator of how much I've grown is the dream I had the other night where for the first time EVER, I actually played the piano in my dream and it went super well. Nothing weird happened to the instrument and it felt so natural to play. Perhaps that shows how much I have overcome mentally, as I've given myself to this project for the past six months. And oh... I've lost about 8 pounds in July!
The icing on the cake will be to walk away (or drive away) on Saturday feeling really happy with my performance the next two days...
... and to look pretty today. :-)
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