Do You Love Yourself?

You shall love—

“love the Eternal One your God with everything you have: 

all your heart, 

all your soul, 

all your strength, 

and all your mind”

—and “love your neighbor as yourself.” 

I've grown up hearing this verse and trying to live it all my life. Sometimes it seemed like this was the one place where we were given permission to "love yourself". But it was usually a slight mention, so it felt a bit self-indulgent to truly think about that part of the verse. It's simply a tag line anyway isn't it? An afterthought?

Picture a lake full of liquid love; a loving yourself kind-of-love. "Please feel free to dip your little toe in it, but don't jump in with both feet because that would mean you are totally self-indulgent."

Doing the "life value" exercise I've been doing feels like going skinny dipping in a lake I've danced around all my life but was too afraid to let myself experience.

I have been given permission to swim unrestrained and let the waters engulf every part of me. What a transforming experience this has been.

Now, I ask you. Do you love yourself? 

And what does loving yourself have to do with loving your neighbor? 

What if you don't really like who you are? 

Does it have an impact on how you love God and others?

Perhaps what I didn't understand was the difference between your beautifully created soul/self and your egotistical self.  I was so afraid of having an ego that I was afraid to even think about "loving yourself". Perhaps I just perceived things through a child's mind and didn't get the whole picture.

I'm beginning to see now that part of the journey of discovering your life values has a lot to do with embracing the beautiful soul you were created to be. As I've gone through this process and have discovered (in a deeper way) who Frances is, it's almost as if all my life I have been auditioning to be Frances Drost but never really got the job because I've never been sure who she was.

"Frances" means "free one". I've never been good at being free. But I'm turning 50 in a couple of months and I'm very excited. I finally feel qualified to be me and there's no better way to celebrate this huge milestone than to turn 50 and embrace the freedom I'm finding.

Part of me wants to throw away all my old clothes - completely rid my closet and drawers of all the old wardrobe and stock it with different (doesn't have to be brand new) just new and different for me. The sole purpose would be to start my new position as "Frances Drost". It would be a symbolic act of shedding the old me and embracing the new. No more black clothes - how about bright blues, pinks and reds??? My budget doesn't allow for that, but I can put on a new attitude.

I think I can finally fill my shoes.  

So in light of all this, I'm wrapping up this segment of life values by sharing mine here. These are certainly a work in progress so it's not like I'm "done". But I have a clearly defined vision of who I am and that is helping to steer everything about my life. I've added action statements to help me stay on track.

1.) Well-being

- a good or satisfactory condition of existence; a state characterized by health, happiness, and prosperity; welfare:

Because I value well-being:

I will take care of my body by exercising and eating well.
I will take care of my spirit by prayer and scripture meditation.
I will take care of my soul by pursuing soul development through life-long learning and creation, especially as it relates to music and songwriting.

2.) Beauty

- the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

Because I value beauty:

I will do what I can to make my heart beautiful. (scripture and prayer)
I will do what I can to make my body beautiful. (exercise and healthy eating)
I will do what I can to make my soul beautiful.  (learning and creating)

3.) Authenticity

- true to one's own personality, spirit, or character

Because I value authenticity:

I will do all I can to learn who Frances is.
I will do all I can to stay true to who Frances was created to be.
I will do all I can to be authentic in my writing, speaking and living.

4.)  Solitude

- a state or situation in which you are alone usually because you want to be

Because I value solitude:

I will not shy away from my preference to be alone.
I will embrace the understanding that I create best when I am alone and do all I can to make the most of aloneness.

"Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, 

and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless 

until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again." 

God will make this happen, 

for he who calls you is faithful.

I Thessalonians 5:23-24

I ask you again, do you love yourself? Your beautiful self - created in the image of God?

You can start by using the exercises I've mentioned in the previous blog post "Day of Delight". It's a good place to start to get to know who you really are, for how can you love someone you do not know? You could start by researching the meaning of your name.

Pre-Prayed Prayers

Feeling like you need a boost these days?   

What do you do when you feel like you have nothing left?

Here's what I did yesterday.

I pulled out my marked up scriptures and found the pre-prayed prayers I love and began to pray them again. 

See, I go through seasons in my prayer life.  I've just come out of one where I was spending longer amounts of time in prayer than usual and it left me feeling strong and capable of handling anything thrown my way.  Until I was hit from behind without any warning.  

It started the weekend before Thanksgiving with a weekend in the hospital revealing diverticulitis. I'm still recovering from that and trying to figure out what I can eat without pain.  To avoid debilitating pain for my big Christmas concert, I stopped eating what I normally eat.  I had been choosing a better life-style of eating very healthy - fruits, veggies, protein, good carbs, etc., and then this happened and I had to live on soft, bland foods, like yogurt, cottage cheese, mashed potatoes and bananas. I began to get weak and it was hard to exercise, which started affecting my creativity and energy level.

Then my husband had to have a serious surgery on his hand, from which he is still recovering, followed by a procedure where they dilated my esophagus to break up a ring that has been growing at the base and has made it difficult to swallow food with any kind of substance (without chewing into next week).  

More weakness = less exercise = less creativity and motivation.

Throw in the normal busy Christmas stuff and in the past couple of weeks, I have found myself feeling completely out of sorts. My prayer life has suffered and because of that, I can tell that ALL of me is suffering.

I sit down to pray but feel like I have nothing to say. So I thought I'd be honest and share that with you here, because I know we all have these times.

So here's what I did yesterday and I found it so refreshing that I'm passing it on to you in case you could use a boost too.  Sometimes all we need is a gentle reminder.

The scriptures have beautiful prayers that are already pre-prayed and all you have to do is read them aloud and make them your own. They breathe life into any tired soul. 

Here it goes: (and this is only one of several)

Ephesians 3:14-21 The Message (MSG)

14-19 My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

20-21 God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

Glory to God in the church!

Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus!

Glory down all the generations!

Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes!

In my own words, I might pray this way:

Father, here I am today, down on my knees (and yes, I get down on my knees) before you.  You are a magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth.  I need a little bit of that parcel today. 

I ask you to come and strengthen me by your Spirit.  I have nothing left these days. I'm tired. I'm not even sure why, but I feel like I desperately need strength - on the inside of me. Not a physical...go to the gym and lift weights kind of strength...but the kind that makes me able to face life today - the inside kind.  

Jesus, live in me today.

I open the door to you - again, as I do so many days. Please, come in. Help both of my feet to be planted firmly on love - help me to be able to take in your love and all the extravagant dimensions of it.  I don't think I really know your love like I could.  Please, reveal your love to me in greater ways....

...and do that for all my friends too.

I reach out to you, today.  Help me experience all the angles of your love - how deep, how wide, how full it can be.  I'm so shallow when it comes to love. I need to go deep.  I can only go deep by knowing your love, so bring it on! Wash me in it. Cover me with it.  Let it bubble up from the inside and flow outward.

Thank you, Father, that you can do anything - far more than anything I could ever imagine or conjure up (and sometimes I think I can be pretty imaginative) - but you don't seem to do it by my own might or power - you do it by a gentle work of your Spirit - slowly working in me every day....deeply.  I can't do the work, that's for sure. I just give you permission. Please, You take it from here.

It doesn't take long and you can feel that inner strength oozing into your soul. I'll need to do this pretty regularly for a while until I get back on my feet and into my usual prayer life. But for now, it feels great to just sit and read prayers that someone else has prayed.  

Here are some references for other prayers that are helpful too:

Ephesians 1:15-23

Philippians 1:9-11

Colossians 1:9-14

Colossians 4:2--4

I Thessalonians 5:23-24

II Thessalonians 3:5

So go ahead, look these up and make them your own. It doesn't hurt to use pre-prayed prayers at times like this.