Shatter The Glass

Shatter the glass.  Don't just open it and let some fresh air in.  I need HELP - not just a little change here and there.  I need a NEW perspective.  A completely different view!

Do you ever feel that way?

A friend of mine had her life turned upside down when she moved to FL for a job opening, lost the job and then found out she had cancer.  Her world was shattered and not in a good way.  At first.

She moved back to PA and somehow found my music and we have become friends as a result.  One thing has led to another and she asked me to do a concert to help her raise money for an organization that took her by the hand and helped her to see a whole new world as a result of her journey with cancer.

We met at a coffee shop to talk about prayer, life and the concert.  When she told me some of the songs she wanted me to do, I said to her "oh...so you want all the dark songs?"  (I have a tendency to write on the dark side, although my most recent CD "Portraits of White" wouldn't agree with that - thank God!)  But left to my own devices, I do tend to write introspectively because frankly, that's the window from which I tend to sit and peer into life.  Slowly, over time, sunlight is starting to break through my window.

As we sipped our coffee, she pulled out an old song of mine - "Shatter The Glass" and asked me about it. As I began to share with her, I was reminded of how the song does seem to touch something deep inside people who have walked through tough seasons.  I went home and began working on a video of images to go with the song.  I was shocked to receive the following words in an e-mail from her.

"So I've been thinking about something you said Thursday, when I made known to you my 3 song requests for the concert. I don't recall your exact words, but I think you said something about them being dark songs.

For those of us like you, who have experienced death of loved ones too much, and for me, who has experienced a life-threatening illness (and my Dad's death), we see life differently. We see the darkness in life. Life is raw! Life is hard! Life isn't always fun! From my own experience, there were so many things I faced for the first time physically, as I was battling the cancer, that were just downright raw, and very humbling! I was not one to get sick. The worst I would get was a cold, stomach bugs, and maybe a touch of the flu every so often, but other than the day I was born, I had never spent time in a hospital. Had never been operated on. I didn't like taking medication, even over the counter. I was happy to keep the doctor away!

Your songs speak to the "rawness" of life! They are honest and they are authentic! They don't apologize...they just tell it like it is! I relate to that and I so appreciate that type of honesty and vulnerability.

But here's the thing...you don't leave your listeners in the "dumps", wallowing in that rawness. You bring your listeners up and you give them hope! You lift them up to Jesus!

For instance, in Nobody Sees...

"Nobody sees all those places I've been,

All the mistakes and my secret sins.

All of the tears when I fall on my face,

All of the times I'm in need of Your grace.

But You love me,

And forgive me"

I mean come on, how powerful are those words! The rawness is seen in the mistakes we have made and those secret sins that we hide from the world. But then look, there's a way out...God's grace, God's love, God's forgiveness! It doesn't get any better than that, does it?!

Those are not dark songs Frances! You don't write dark songs! Those are songs of love, and hope, and forgiveness, and second chances, and on and on...

To use a musical term that I have no idea what it is...your music has struck a chord with me. Your music speaks into my life and draws me closer to God! How can I not thank God for you and share it with the world!"

Thank you, my dear friend. Thanks for encouraging me to keep writing authentically.  May the music continue to help you 'see the view from heaven' as we work together to help shatter the glass and pull others from dark places.

Click here to learn more about the concert for Cancer Companions on May 16, 2015.

My Mother's Prayers

My mother used to tell me that for years she prayed for a piano player.  God apparently answered her prayer because I play the piano and I LOVE to do it!

There's another prayer she used to pray often.  She would ask God to heal my feet.  I have absolutely no arches and two large-sized bunions.  It's not the foot of a model, that's for sure!

I had a flashback to childhood when I was at my first appointment with the physical therapist a few weeks ago.  He looked at my feet and I could tell he was a bit taken back.  When he saw the big calluses I have on the bottom of my feet, he asked if I ever rub them.  That's when I remembered the days when I was a little girl and my mother would offer to rub my feet.  She would use 'bag balm' that she swears by (if she were a swearing woman, which she's not) into my feet and pray that God would heal them.

So here I sit in the physical therapist's office needing healing in my foot.  Apparently my foot structure did not tolerate the ice skating venture.  There has been no specific injury, but a gradual intolerance of all that I was asking of my foot, based on my poor structure.  The orthopedic doctor said he doubted I'd ever be able to skate because of it, but the physical therapist believes they can construct a support system for my ice skate that will allow me to skate in the future. I choose to believe the P. therapist.

It's been a terribly long journey of healing and it's not over yet, but this morning I was told that I can take a 15 minute medium-paced walk and see how it goes.  From there I can begin to increase the amount of time, though not the speed.  I have renewed hope.

I'm sure I will have a much stronger ankle and overall body when I go back to skating because I am faithfully doing all the exercises they are giving me and doing them on both feet so that both ankles will be strong.

I'm so glad God answered my mother's prayer for a piano player and that He chose me as the recipient of that gift.  I use it with joy.   I wish that God would answer her prayer for my feet and that I would have arches and no bunions.  He hasn't answered that one....yet. But I'm learning a lot about developing my feet in preparation for going back to skating and it will pay off in the end.

There is one big prayer that my mother prays regularly and I have joined her in the prayer.  She wants to go home to heaven.  I want her to be able to go, since that's what she prefers.  She's tired.  She's lived a long, full life.  She's lost two sons and two husbands and she's a tad weary of life here on earth.

I don't understand why God doesn't answer this prayer of hers, but I think somehow in the long, drawn out process of aging, there is some therapy that is strengthening her, and I, until the day He does answer that prayer.  She and I would prefer the 'quick fix' but that's apparently not the road we will be granted.

When She Calls "Yoo Hoo"

My mother has a bird feeder hanging outside the window of her little room in the nursing center. It was empty when she moved in and I inquired as to how we go about getting it filled.  Since it's up to the family to keep it filled, I take bird seed with me every time I go.

When I first filled it, I would ask if the birds had come - with desperate eagerness every time I talked with her on the phone. They didn't come for days. I pleaded with God to please give her this small favor and send some birds. I knew they would brighten her day.

One day I visited her and sure enough a gold finch landed on the feeder and I about jumped through the roof with excitement. She did too, in an elderly woman kind of way.

When I go to see her, I usually fill the feeder first. She doesn't know I'm coming so it usually surprises her when she suddenly sees me appear right outside her window.

One day, recently, because of the glare on the window with the rising sun, I couldn't see well. I bent down and peeked in her room to see if she was in there.  I was about to give up when I heard something I haven't heard for years. Her familiar "yoo hoo". It starts up high for the "yoo" and goes down a few tones on the scale for the "hoo". Same way, every time. I smiled and waved.

A chill ran up my spine. The power of those two words, within a nanosecond, flung me back into childhood and a lifetime of being her daughter. I could see and hear glimpses of moments in time when I heard that familiar call.

...calling my father in from the fields

...calling up to me in my bedroom on the farm

...a call that sometimes irritated me like crazy

...a call that I have considered using when my own natural voice doesn't seem loud enough, but then wonder if I really have the gall to do what used to drive me nuts.

But today it was the most welcomed sound. A moment from the past, as if all was normal again.

I don't know when the Lord will call her home. She prays almost daily that it will be that day and usually asks me to pray with her that it will be soon and so I do. I know the Bible says that His sheep know His voice. I wonder if He will call "yoo hoo".

I'll probably have chills up my spine and tears down my face when He calls her.