50 Things to Trash Before I'm 50.

It's just a blue dress right?

Then why is it so hard to throw it away?

I think it's partly because it means something to me, no matter how trite it might appear to someone else. But I'm determined to clean out the clutter in my house while I continue to clean out the clutter in my soul and work on my life values.

Last week I was in Nashville for another photo shoot and for one of the sessions, the photographer put me in a completely white space.  Nothing on the walls or floors.  No windows, furniture, nothing. I felt so free and creative in that moment that it made me want to follow through with something I've wanted to do for a long time: clear out the clutter in my house.

I've been removing clutter from my soul and my schedule and now it's time to take another step. My house...my living space....my studio. There is something about cleaning out clutter in the natural world that helps me clean out the clutter in the spiritual world.

I also want to get more focused about creating music. I want to create in spaces that make no suggestions to me. (I'm not sure I'm explaining myself well, but perhaps you might identify.) If not, just let me ramble. It helps me figure things out.  : )

I'm still figuring all of this out as I go.

I'll soon be turning 50 and as a way to prepare, I've decided to get rid of 50 things from now until my birthday.

I have 33 days.

I'm parting with "old things" to make space for a "new me".

Every week, I'll take a picture of things I've parted with and share them here in the blog as a salute to those "things".

I'll also share why it was hard to let go. (After all, it helps me sort through my feelings.)

As I'm getting rid of stuff, I'll make note of what it meant to me and then move on.

The blues dress in this photo is now in the trash can and will be burned this afternoon.

There, I did it.

Item # 1.

Gone.

In the above picture, we had attended a wedding and though I can't remember who was getting married, I remember how I felt in that dress.

I LOVE that dress because:

• when I wear it I feel pretty
• it makes my blue eyes pop
• it's lined with it's own fancy lining
• it's very slimming

But yesterday I tried it on (with Easter Sunday in mind) and the shoulder pads made me look like a football player. (I may try many new things when I turn 50, but football will not be one of them.)

No matter how much I love the dress, it's time to part with it. I'm not a fashion guru, but I'm pretty sure jumbo-size shoulder pads are not in style.

So there it is.  I took a deep breath and said goodbye to the blue dress. I celebrate the times I got to wear it and now I will enjoy one less dress in my closet.

How about you?

Want to celebrate my birthday with me and take on the "50 things to trash before I'm 50" challenge?  

Do You Love Yourself?

You shall love—

“love the Eternal One your God with everything you have: 

all your heart, 

all your soul, 

all your strength, 

and all your mind”

—and “love your neighbor as yourself.” 

I've grown up hearing this verse and trying to live it all my life. Sometimes it seemed like this was the one place where we were given permission to "love yourself". But it was usually a slight mention, so it felt a bit self-indulgent to truly think about that part of the verse. It's simply a tag line anyway isn't it? An afterthought?

Picture a lake full of liquid love; a loving yourself kind-of-love. "Please feel free to dip your little toe in it, but don't jump in with both feet because that would mean you are totally self-indulgent."

Doing the "life value" exercise I've been doing feels like going skinny dipping in a lake I've danced around all my life but was too afraid to let myself experience.

I have been given permission to swim unrestrained and let the waters engulf every part of me. What a transforming experience this has been.

Now, I ask you. Do you love yourself? 

And what does loving yourself have to do with loving your neighbor? 

What if you don't really like who you are? 

Does it have an impact on how you love God and others?

Perhaps what I didn't understand was the difference between your beautifully created soul/self and your egotistical self.  I was so afraid of having an ego that I was afraid to even think about "loving yourself". Perhaps I just perceived things through a child's mind and didn't get the whole picture.

I'm beginning to see now that part of the journey of discovering your life values has a lot to do with embracing the beautiful soul you were created to be. As I've gone through this process and have discovered (in a deeper way) who Frances is, it's almost as if all my life I have been auditioning to be Frances Drost but never really got the job because I've never been sure who she was.

"Frances" means "free one". I've never been good at being free. But I'm turning 50 in a couple of months and I'm very excited. I finally feel qualified to be me and there's no better way to celebrate this huge milestone than to turn 50 and embrace the freedom I'm finding.

Part of me wants to throw away all my old clothes - completely rid my closet and drawers of all the old wardrobe and stock it with different (doesn't have to be brand new) just new and different for me. The sole purpose would be to start my new position as "Frances Drost". It would be a symbolic act of shedding the old me and embracing the new. No more black clothes - how about bright blues, pinks and reds??? My budget doesn't allow for that, but I can put on a new attitude.

I think I can finally fill my shoes.  

So in light of all this, I'm wrapping up this segment of life values by sharing mine here. These are certainly a work in progress so it's not like I'm "done". But I have a clearly defined vision of who I am and that is helping to steer everything about my life. I've added action statements to help me stay on track.

1.) Well-being

- a good or satisfactory condition of existence; a state characterized by health, happiness, and prosperity; welfare:

Because I value well-being:

I will take care of my body by exercising and eating well.
I will take care of my spirit by prayer and scripture meditation.
I will take care of my soul by pursuing soul development through life-long learning and creation, especially as it relates to music and songwriting.

2.) Beauty

- the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

Because I value beauty:

I will do what I can to make my heart beautiful. (scripture and prayer)
I will do what I can to make my body beautiful. (exercise and healthy eating)
I will do what I can to make my soul beautiful.  (learning and creating)

3.) Authenticity

- true to one's own personality, spirit, or character

Because I value authenticity:

I will do all I can to learn who Frances is.
I will do all I can to stay true to who Frances was created to be.
I will do all I can to be authentic in my writing, speaking and living.

4.)  Solitude

- a state or situation in which you are alone usually because you want to be

Because I value solitude:

I will not shy away from my preference to be alone.
I will embrace the understanding that I create best when I am alone and do all I can to make the most of aloneness.

"Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, 

and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless 

until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again." 

God will make this happen, 

for he who calls you is faithful.

I Thessalonians 5:23-24

I ask you again, do you love yourself? Your beautiful self - created in the image of God?

You can start by using the exercises I've mentioned in the previous blog post "Day of Delight". It's a good place to start to get to know who you really are, for how can you love someone you do not know? You could start by researching the meaning of your name.

Too Gray or not too Gray??

Here are a few responses I thought worth noting from last week's blog post "Should I Keep My Gray Hair?" 

Various age groups are represented here, and I appreciate each perspective.

1) "Hair and clothes are window dressing and can invite or turn away."

2) "Since you asked our opinions, ultimately whatever you decide is fine with me and it’s your decision, but I think you should cover the grey. Here’s why: Not because I don’t think you look beautiful with the grey, because when I see you, your wonderful self sparkles through all that and I don’t even notice the grey. But I agree with your producer/publicist that it may, probably will, hinder your career.

Unfortunately, people are (and we all are to some extent) affected by looks, youthfulness, the whole shh-bang. And when you have a “still” image as in a photo, what you see is what you see. Your life and inner beauty and sparkle don’t come through as much in a photo as they do in person. So the grey becomes more obvious even may stand out disproportionately, especially to someone who doesn’t know you."

3) "As far as authenticity, in this day and age I can’t imagine anyone thinking you’re in-genuine just because you cover a few grey hairs."

4) "To be fair, some performance contracts obligate coloring of hair, both for men and women if they have grey. There is a certain "look" that is better received, a certain polished makeup style, poise etc that is expected. I think your grey hair is nice grey; I don't really notice it because it blends in. Some young artists color their hair grey, Sarah Brightman a few years back did; some others as well. But I still think it is easier to promote yourself with non-grey hair."

5) "Just because you asked, I vote to keep the gray. "Gray hair is a crown of spender; obtained by living a righteous life." In my opinion, there are few people who have been so appropriately coronated. Wear your crown with honor. It is evidence of a long, blessed life."

6) "I love my gray hair. It looks like silver jewelry to me and every time I see it think about the years of life and love it took to make them gray. I'm almost 50 and have loved older, wiser women since I was in my 20's. Our culture's obsession with looking youthful instead of being healthy and wise is damaging. We've lost the love and honor that wells up in our heart when we see deep lines and white hair. We should say to ourselves..."Wow, there is a lifetime of love and perseverance in those lines." I am a fan of gray."

I've made my decision. 

My photo shoot in March will unveil the "Brand New Me."

Should I Keep The Gray Hair? (and what does that have to do with life values?)

This week, I sat down with the couple overseeing my assignments about delight and values. I had a lot of questions.

Why am I establishing life values? What's the point of all this anyway?

As they unpacked the reasoning, it began to make sense, in a nebulous way, like an insurance salesman convincing you that you need insurance. You see the benefits on paper and make a decision, hoping you'll never really need it, right? Don't worry about the fine print of your policy. Just go ahead and sign. After all, you probably won't ever actually need the insurance.

Likewise, I have been working on my assignment, whether I think I need it or not. I thought I already know what's important to me, so as long as I'm headed in the right direction, isn't that ok? Do I really need a "core value" policy in place?

Determining your core life values provides clarity when making decisions about moving, relationships, weighing opportunities, discerning vocation, making commitments to social entities and maybe even determining the color of your hair. What??? (But I'll get to that in a moment.)

Here are some helpful questions to ask to get you started.

MUSIC

Based on my "day of delight," I thought I valued music. So I inserted the word music in each of these questions...but you can insert your own.

1. Why does music matter to me?

Music matters to me because it allows me to express what I think and feel. It gets the inside stuff out into the open, in a palatable way.

2. What does music tap into?

Music taps into my soul. I feel alive when I write it, perform it and listen to it. It taps into the creative side of me, the artist in me.

3. What is it about music that feels necessary?

It helps me analyze, process and summarize my feelings, theology, perspective, philosophy and inner meanderings. It even allows the playful side of me to take heavy feelings and distill them into bite size thoughts and keep from taking myself too seriously.

Sometimes what we list on paper is simply an expression of what we value.  For instance, though I love music, composing it and listening to it, perhaps what I really value underneath the music is being able to express myself authentically.

So you could say that music is an expression of my value of authenticity.  I don't feel compelled to write one particular genre of music, but I do feel compelled to write each song authentically within whatever framework the lyrics and melody dictate.  The feeling behind the song often determines the genre.

This could drive marketing and branding people nuts when marketing my music.  My producer has the challenge of keeping my music marketable and yet staying true to who "Frances" is. I think he does a pretty good job of it.

My catalog of songs will probably always include songs that no one will ever hear but they must be written so I can keep my inner life organized.

Therefore, I value authenticity and it's most exhilarating when expressed through music.

EXERCISE

Let's take the three questions and apply them to exercise. I mentioned it frequently in my delightful day. But is it a value?

1. Why does exercise matter to me?

Exercise matters to me because it makes me feel in charge of every aspect of me: my mind, will, emotions and inner soul, from which I create.  How I feel after I exercise has such a significant impact on my creative ability that it doesn't really matter what the exercise is, as long as I do something!

I prefer the outdoors as opposed to a gym, but that's simply because ambiance and surrounding either inspires or stifles me. I'd rather ice skate on a pond in the woods on rough ice than go to an indoor rink where the ice is smooth.  To have smooth ice outside would be the best of both worlds.

Just went ice skating here today! It was amazing.

Unfortunately, I usually have to go to a rink because we don't have ice for long in Pennsylvania, let alone in a woods. Activity trumps surrounding in this case. On a very snowy day, I'd rather walk in the snow than go to the gym, but if there's no good place to walk in the snow, I have to go to the gym.

2. What does exercise tap into?

Exercise helps me keep my emotions, mind, body and spirit connected and all facing the same direction. I'm a much happier person when all of me is running smoothly. All areas must be connected or integrated for me to be the most creative.

3. What is it about exercise that feels necessary?

My well-being.

Well-being is a good or satisfactory condition of existence; a state characterized by health, happiness, and prosperity; welfare.

I think I'd say that my underlying core value here is well-being.

BEAUTY

I'm still working on this one but it would appear that I also value beauty.  If you look through the pictures on my recent blog post in my "day of delight," it's obvious that I love beauty. It's why I love snow.  It makes the barren land white and soft. It's why I included the seasons.  I love the vivid colors of spring, the green grass and vibrant flowers.  Fall is just as inspiring when the leaves turn their splashy oranges and reds.

Now I know why it was hard for me to live in Oklahoma for two years - the change of seasons wasn't as vivd as in Pennsylvania (at least in Broken Arrow, OK.) In fact, I used to go visit a graveyard in the city to sit and enjoy the one maple tree they had planted there because of its brilliant orange and red colors.

In Florida, I loved the beach, but again, I missed the change of seasons.

Now it all makes sense to me.

1. Why does beauty matter to me?  

It affects my mood. The snow lifts my spirits in the winter.

2. What does beauty tap into?

Inspiration. Creativity. The more beautiful my surroundings, the more inspired I become. 

3. What is it about beauty that feels necessary?  

If I ever feel gray and dull in my soul, color (on the outside) represents "aliveness" to me and helps to remove the colorless mood in my soul. If the outside is dull and "lifeless," I have to work to get my mood into a positive and creative mode.

Now that I know this about myself, I just simply look for something beautiful in the dull day and my mood can change much more quickly.

The props are starting to originate on the inside of me,

 instead of coming from the outside.

Therefore, I value beauty.

AUTHENTICITY

Definition: true to one's own personality, spirit, or character:

1. Why does authenticity matter to me? 

It's familiar. I don't know how to be anything else. I can be a great "me". Pretending means I have to become something that doesn't feel natural to me. 

2. What does authenticity tap into?

Natural tendencies. Connection. Power. Freedom.

3.  What is it about authenticity that feels necessary?

I want to live boldly. Daring. Fearless. 

If I can be authentic, I don't need to pretend, which makes me powerful and free. I don't have to "work at it". 

When I'm powerful, I have the ability to do anything.

Yes - I'd say a core value is authenticity.

Back to the insurance policy example!

Remember how I said we hope we don't need the insurance policy, but we get one anyway?

I was hoping I wouldn't need to think through my life values so deeply. If I could just get a good handle on them, that should be enough, right? If I ever need them, I can simply pull them out and review them and go on.

Well, this week, after working on my "list of values," I had a conversation that made me stop and seriously look at my values. "Pull out that insurance policy NOW," I said, "and read the fine print."

It happened because someone recently told me I should color my hair....it would look better....I would appear younger. But, letting my hair go gray has been a significant decision in my life.

Why I chose gray!

When I started figure skating about two years ago, it touched something so deeply in my soul that I began to write music about it and I could feel a slow, but steady change taking place. It was so transforming that the result is a new music project coming out this year called "Brand New Me". 

While ice skating, I felt so free and different that I decided to take a really bold step: let my hair go gray. Stop coloring it. I had resisted turning 40 - even despised it. I resisted my gray hair - didn't want to look or be old. However, as the new me began to emerge, I started feeling a new level of freedom.

It was a philosophical reason first and then a frugality decision. I was getting tired of spending lots of money on hiding the gray. I tried coloring it myself years ago and it was a disaster, so that's not an option.

Fast forward to present day and my hair has beautiful silver highlights. They are my very own. They are authentic. I like them. Every now and then I cringe when I walk into a room and realize that I'm identified as old and gray, (like our staff Christmas party game where I was on the "wise and graying" team....OUCH.) However, for the most part, I've enjoyed living on the silver edge and the cringe melts into confidence.

My gray hair - at the 2015 Portraits of White concert.

I have a professional photo shoot scheduled in Nashville for March 17. I've been picking out hair styles and clothes (on pinterest) for the occasion. I have NOT been picking out hair color. I like it just the way it is.

But now someone in the media world is challenging that decision. "Media will not give you the time of day with your hair being gray," they began. "Don't go to Nashville with it like that. Everything else about you looks young and vibrant. Your frame is so small that our eyes are immediately drawn to your hair. It detracts from who you are. Our culture views gray as old and sick." (I promise, I'm not mincing words here - this is what they said). "If someone doesn't know you and sees your CD cover with gray hair," they continued, "they won't give your music a chance". 

Before this part of the conversation, they had nothing but raving things to say about my recent Portraits of White concert. They had been there to see it in action. They believed in what I am trying to do with the concert and want to help me get more exposure in the local area with other media outlets.

I welcome this help because it's a lot to do on my own and I need someone's high recommendation to get my foot in the door. It was said in love because they want to help me, so I received it in that spirit. And I value wisdom so I keep an open mind.

However, I debated with every fiber of my being and came right back with lots of philosophical reasons why they were wrong. "I VALUE AUTHENTICITY," I said. "That's one of my strengths. The churches that I go to seem to love that about me. I let people see the real me. The struggles, the victories. This new project will be all about authenticity and how I got to be a "brand new me". Part of that is my new natural hair color," I argued.

If this scenario would have happened years ago, the old Frances would have gone home devastated and undone. It would have taken me weeks to sort through my feelings and thoughts. But the new Frances fought right back....knew why I had made my decision and why I didn't want to back down. It felt good. 

I guess it's not really a brand new me. Perhaps the real Frances is just finally starting to come out.

Even in the midst of our loud debating, we laughed at our audacity to be so open and honest. Our relationship started because we hit it off so well in a radio interview that we decided to get together and become friends outside of the music business. Nice way to start a friendship.

The bigger issue for me was the message and brand I was planning on presenting with the new project. A new me. Living in freedom beyond the age of 50. (I turn 50 this year and I wanted to do it big.)

I want to encourage women to let their hair go gray (if they want to), learn to figure skate if they want to, paint a picture, take a class, go get a makeover, take a cooking class, go back to school. 

You're not TOO OLD to pursue the passion and gifting inside you - or even discover what that is - unless you want to be on the cover of Seventeen Magazine. That could be a problem. But I think you get the idea.

"Don't challenge me as a woman in my 50's with letting your hair go gray," she continued (now you know she's a she).

"Challenge me to live on the edge with your figure skating, bungee jumping, skydiving, whatever. THAT will make me want to listen - but don't use hair color as your argument for embracing 50. That does nothing for me."

Her last and final whopper of a question only added to my shock: "Do you want to make a living doing music?"

"Yes!" I said without hesitation. 

"Then you need to color your hair."

Then we laughed at our new found friendship that got real honest, real quick and put our trash in the bins at Panera Bread and walked out.

Now I have a decision to make.

I don't know what I'm going to do, yet. But I can tell you this; I'm looking at my core values a lot more seriously. I get why this matters now. Even though it's just hair color. There are way more important things than hair color for Pete's sake! But it's the principle of the thing. Authenticity matters - not hair color.

Yes, in the end, whether I stay gray or not, I think it's the WHY behind all of this that will determine my decision. If I can be authentic and color my hair - so be it. If not, I think I'll stay gray. But as she pointed out, what if the color of my hair keeps people from receiving my message? 

Does it really matter? 

What do you think I should do?

Let Her Down Gently

I dropped my brother and his wife off at the BWI airport and started the two hour drive home. It was Monday. First day of the work week, first day after our mother's memorial service.

I hate goodbyes.

Personally, I think one of the hardest moments of grief is right after the funeral when all your friends and family leave to go home. You head back to your house and realize that life is not going to be the same anymore. The people who were with you throughout the death and funeral proceedings serve as a sort of cocoon and you feel safe and warm there, even in the midst of your grief. When they leave, it's as if you are birthed out into the cold world, naked. You are fragile and helpless. You need to be treated gently and given some time to adjust.

A melody and lyric presented themselves as I drove.

"let her down gently 

everybody's gone

going home to lonely

so let her down gently"

I wrote it down and never finished it. (I don't think my producer wants me to write anymore songs about death.) "You have plenty already," I can hear him say, and I giggle.

Two Stones

My mother's name has been engraved on two tombstones ever since I can remember. Having had two husbands, both preceding her in death,  I'm sure it was a decision of frugality and practicality to go ahead and have her name etched on both stones.

I always dreaded visiting the cemetery, partly for that reason.  It was a very vivid reminder that someday she would die. It was eery because her name and birthdate appeared, along with a blank space for the date of her death, waiting for it to happen. It's a lot for a child to process.

February 6 was her birthday and we just passed the second one since she's been gone. I haven't been able to go back to the home where she died ever since September 2014. It's too painful. In fact, I've even avoided the roads around it.  Secretly, I was afraid that they would force me to drive by and I just wasn't ready. Yet, I have felt guilty because there are people at this home that I would like to go visit but my selfish grief has kept me away.

I hate guilt. I used to hate grief even more.

Saturday, on her birthday, I had an event to do in the town where she died. Feeling a bit nostalgic, I took the long way so I could stop and visit her grave. "Yep - here I am, doing it - the very thing I despised when I was young," I smiled to myself.

As I was walking toward her spot, I had this unusually strong impression that she was no longer there. Now, I know that in my head, but my heart prefers to go visit her graveside anyway. It still brings comfort somehow, but this impression was so strong that it almost made me turn around and leave. I've never sensed that so strongly when visiting my family's graves.

But I wanted to see the date listed on her memorial. I haven't seen it since they etched it in last summer. Just as I reached for my phone to take a picture to send to my siblings, I saw a text from my brother in New Mexico reminding us it was her birthday. Interesting timing!

As I walked away, I had the resounding sense of completion - and not just the date on her tombstones. Something in my soul felt free. Knowing she isn't there somehow lifted my step.

Bertha Mae Sollenberger Crider Heisey
February 6, 1923 - September 24, 2014

As I drove toward the church where I was to speak, I came upon the little road to her home and decided to take it. And wouldn't you know, it took me right by the place where she died, and once again, I had the strong sense of freedom from grief.

Not only was she NOT in the cemetery, she was NOT at the home I so dreaded going to. I drove by - looked it square in the eye and smiled.  She's not there anymore.

My heart finally agreed with my head.

I wanted to go home and blog about my experience but the words felt like peanut butter in my spirit. However, I had a strong sense if I would work on the song, I could now finish it and the song would express what I want to say. I guess I just needed more time to live through the grief and grow to the other side of it.

Of all the songwriting tools available to me, the piano is usually the most productive one of all. I sat down at the piano and it came - easily, quickly and clearly.

I have songs that I've started and slaved over and still can't finish. When one comes this easily, it's a treat. I doubt you will ever hear it on one of my CD projects (unless I do one on grieving) but in light of the subject of my recent blog posts, I thought it would be an appropriate way to show you what it's like to take a song idea, process, write and record it. A snapshot into my "day of delight."

(I say that because a fan-turned-friend recently asked if she could come and sit in my studio and watch me write a song.  Oh my!!!!  No way!!!  It's such a personal process. Sorry - I said.)  

So this is the best I can do to let her in on my process.

The pictures aren't professional for the most part - but they represent my life. Joy and tears. Life and loss. It's my family's story.

Know someone who has recently lost a loved one?

Give her/him space.

Don't carve out her grief journey for her. Let her find her way. Just be there for her, and please.....let her down gently.

Click here to hear and see the song.

The Stuff I Value Is Not.....Stuff

It felt downright indulgent, selfish and "North American" to write out my "Day of Delight" last week.

What about all the starving children in the world?

Their day would be simple.

Find food. 

A person without work would only need three words.

Find a job.

But after having a week to ponder the exercise and review my delightful day, I have more to add to those critical thoughts. And they are a little less critical.

Now, I would agree that we are terribly self-consumed in the United States, and the truth is, we are one of THE most fortunate countries on the little globe that spins in my studio. (As a child, I always found those fascinating). 

But what if it simply means that we, who have been given so much, have a high calling to make the best of what we've been given and make a difference in this world?

But what if a day of delight isn't even about making a difference? What if it's simply a day of delight? Oh my, back to feeling self-indulgent! Or is it? As soon as you must make a difference in the world, it puts you back into "oughts and shoulds" which leads to obligation and removes the possibility for a "day of delight".

On to the next assignment: write down your life values.

On the surface, the pictures and text I chose last week would speak of luxury, technology, nature and fine dining. Stuff. However, emerging from this seemingly guilty pleasure of creating a day of delight is an interesting list of things I value and surprisingly, it doesn't seem to be "stuff" at all.

Supposedly, they say that our values cannot be based on our circumstances and those pictures look pretty circumstantial, even tangible to me. Glass buildings, an English butler serving me delicacies and ending the day on a farm in Franklin, Tennessee - they would all appear tangible.

But what if those were all taken away from me?  That could be easy to imagine, since I don't own a glass studio. In fact, my studio is in my "home" and my home is small and simple. I don't have an English butler (though my Dutch husband does serve me treats sometimes) and I certainly don't live on a farm in Franklin.

My songwriting tools, though somewhat contained in a digital format, are not simply pulled up by a vocal command and stored digitally automatically (unless I don't know how to use technology right - which could be true).

I DO have a cat that I adore. I DO ride a motorcycle and so does my husband. I DO get to spend time writing music and lately, I've even been ice skating a little bit. Those are all delightful.

So if what we value can't be based on circumstances, how do we find out what we value below the surface of our day of delight?

I'm not sure yet, but here's what I think I see emerging through my "tangible" list.

Ambiance

atmosphere, climate, mood, feel, character, quality, flavor, look, tone

Environment

setting, surroundings, aura, color, cultivation

Creativity

bring into existence, fashion, design, imagine, compose, give life to, shape, dream up

Routine

regular, familiar, seasonal, methodical 

Exercise

discipline, training, movement, pursuit

Learning

wisdom, information, study, education, knowledge

Music

sounds that are pleasant

Solitude

silence, privacy, peace and quiet, aloneness (not loneliness)

Relationship

connection, friendship, exchange, rapport, bond, kinship, marriage, nearness

I have always been very sensitive to ambiance and environment (you can insert all the above synonyms here).  I am easily inspired or brought down by surroundings.  All that being said, I am becoming creative about taking any circumstance and surrounding and finding delight in it. That's real creativity!

Basically, I believe that I was wired to create. Specifically, to create ambient musical structures that are intangible.  Music is like the wind, you can hear it and you can see the effects of it, but you can't see it without notes on paper or audio waves on a computer. You can drive down the road, turn on a song and be transported to a place of tranquility, though you never "see" the sound waves.

A by-product of that wiring seems to be a vocation wherein I create songs of honesty, peace and comfort, so I value the "places" from which my creativity originates.

In other words:

I value nurturing of the soul, both mine and others. I believe I can do that best by creating music.

Creating music (at least for me) comes about best through a routine consisting of a healthy blend of the following:

Solitude, spiritual disciplines, exercise, learning, relationship, ambiance and environment. The edifice of my soul is the strongest when these elements are present, no matter where I am.

In a nutshell, here's a perfect example:

I discovered a new kind of "delight" when I tried to take up figure skating a couple of years ago at the recommendation of my counselor. "Do something fun for once", she advised. I went ice skating - something I've loved since I was little.  I was not seeking to write music for a new project, I just simply followed my gut and took up skating. In fact, when it was first suggested to me, I had disengaged from creating music. I was quite depressed.

What has emerged? A brand new me, and with it, a brand new project of music. Somehow, the delight in skating evoked a new level of creativity and resulted in a stronger soul, expressed in the new music.

Maybe there is something to this "day of delight" thing.

Here's a very short video announcing the new music and the inspiration for it.  What a delightful day!!

Click here to view video.

Why not take some time to do this exercise for yourself? It can be transforming. 

A Day of Delight

Recently, I was given an assignment to write out my life values.  Part of the assignment includes creating "a day of delight" - at least on paper.  Apparently, out of this planning emerges things that really matter to us and help us understand how we are wired and what it is we value.

It's been a soul-searching process and sometimes rather challenging, but I love doing things like this so it's been interesting.  The images below help to express what I have tried to write in longer form on paper.  Oh - and by the way, it must be a day void of "ought and should".  No obligation or boundaries.  Just pure delight.

It's been so transforming I thought I'd put it in my blog and share it with you.  I would encourage you to do the same.  Start by doing these two things:

1.  Write out what a day of delight would consist of.
2.  Locate images of it and create a book or collage.

Finding photos takes everything to another level because you begin to quickly identify things you like and don't like.

Do you like winter or summer?
Do you like floral or plaid?
Do you want the bed you take a nap in to be covered with soft blankets and pastel colors or do you want a room that is rustic with bold and bright colors?
Would you eat lunch at the beach or in a log cabin?  Alone or with a friend?
Would the car you drive be an old classic or a new sports car?
Maybe you'd rather walk.
Would it be a path in the park or in the Rockies?

I think you get the idea.  The point is to do it.

So here's the synopsis of what my day of delight would be. When you finish gazing at my day, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

If you try this exercise, I'd like to know what you experienced!

Rise with the sun at 5:00 a.m.

Head out into the snow to go ice skating on a lake that meanders through the woods.

Ice skate until 7:30 a.m.

Enjoy skating to music from the sky...a large sound system blaring across the atmosphere.

Work with a coach who would teach me to skate to the music.

Head home.
Shower.
Hair/makeup artist/image consultant gets me ready for the day.

My English butler serves me breakfast on the patio...in the sun.
Spinach and feta cheese omelette with english muffin, bacon fried crispy and fresh squeezed orange juice.
Coffee with cream and sugar.

Prayer, meditation and quiet in one of my favorite spots...outside.

Head over to my studio to begin creating music.
It's all glass so that I can enjoy the outdoors inside.

Enjoy my room where dictionary, thesaurus and all writing tools are right at my fingertips....

...and are activated simply by my voice.
Song ideas are stored for future use automatically.

Next I sit down at the grand piano and create luscious melodies for proposal in marriage to the lyrics.

While I'm writing, I watch the snowfall outside and enjoy the wildlife loitering.
(On this day of delight, the weather changes randomly and at my command.)

Of course, my cat and dog are nestled together right beside me.

Time for coffee break, with chocolate served by my English butler.
No bad calories on this delightful day.

A brisk walk in the snow would invigorate and clear my mind for more creative work.
(Not meant for physical exercise this time, just for clarity and inspiration.)

Personal songwriting coaching session and music lesson...
anything to challenge my brain and creativity following my brisk walk.

Healthy lunch by the ocean, served by my beloved butler.
I don't have to make the lunch or do the dishes.
I just sit and enjoy the view.

Time to nap...
with my cat.
His Royal Highness awaits.

Head to the local cafe to write my blog, perhaps meet a friend.
Nice to get out for a few hours.

Time for some natural soul therapy.
Work in my gardens.
Enjoy the sound of water and birds.
Pulling weeds somehow cleanses my inner soul.

Sweet tea coming right up.
Fresh brew from my garden...
by my butler, of course!

Tom and I prepare to head out on our motorcycles.
A leisurely ride to dinner.
Yes, I'm driving my own.

We arrive just in time for a very special dinner at our favorite place.

After dinner, we dance.

Amazing how easily we changed from our leathers into fine clothes.

We hop on our motorcycles and stop for ice cream at our favorite spot,
joined by our friends.

We take the long way home, through the fall foliage,
watching for deer.

When we arrive home, we sit by the fire and enjoy sharing tales of our day.

The end of this perfect day of delight finds us surrounded by those that we love.

Yes - I meant the animals who inhabit our lovely country farm...
in Franklin, Tennessee.