Tuesday, March 19, 2013

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 81 Holes In The Sheets!

I slept on the couch last night.

No, we're not fighting.  I just couldn't sleep. 

I've discovered when that happens, if I get up and move to the couch - just a change in placement seems to help me fall back asleep.

I think I know what my problem was last night.  Not too long ago I discovered a small hole in our fitted sheet.  I put the sheet in the wash and then made sure that the hole was at our feet and not at the top of the bed.  That way I could ignore it and get a few more months use out of it.

That was dumb. 

My foot caught the edge of the hole the other night and I could hear and feel it rip. I cringed.  Every night I've gone to bed knowing it's there but hoping it will miraculously go away if I stay nice and still ALL NIGHT.  (you can see where this is headed)

The problem is, my subconscious mind must be quite aware that it is there and all night long I struggle to keep from making the hole bigger.  I think that was my problem last night.  It ended up disturbing my sleep enough that I got up and went to the couch.

After a lecture from my husband this morning about going to get a new one, I confessed that I don't want to spend the money.  That led to another lecture.  I've somehow adopted the mindset that every penny I spend means I can't spend it on something else.  It's part of the reason I've been able to pursue my dream.  I spend very little on anything so that I'll have money to spend on the music when it's time.....and that philosophy spills over into how I run our household finances. 

As I was walking this afternoon, I realized that the little hole that has now grown big is just like the enemies that keep us from accomplishing our dreams.  They are little things, subconscious thoughts that eat away at our confidence and begin to keep us from 'resting'.  If we just 'ignore' them, maybe they will go away.  But it's a lie.  At some point, they will get caught in our souls and rip until they become out of control.

Holes might be:
  • Fear that we'll fail or....succeed
  • Fear that we won't have enough money so we hoard every little bit we have and never step out and take risks
  • Negative words spoken over us that continue to play over and over (you're too old!......who do you think you are?......Isn't that a little vain?...you'll never be able to do this)
  • Depression
  • Fatigue
You get the idea.  If these seemingly little holes aren't corrected when they are small, they will eventually tear and become a big problem that will keep us from accomplishing what's in our hearts.  Are they worth losing sleep over?  NO...but if we don't fix 'em, they will get bigger and then we WILL lose sleep.

So not only does this elephant diet keep me focused on the tasks at hand, but it seems to always keep me looking deeper into my soul for the little holes that rip away at my confidence.

On a more task-oriented note:

Bite-size accomplishments so far this week:
  • Communication with potential stage manager for the show
  • Update received from my producer about CD
  • Connection with an image consultant in Nashville for the photo shoot and added her prices into my biz plan sheet for my budget
  • Set up a meeting with the sound company for Thursday of this week to gather information
  • Participating in a live webinar with my live show producer company tonight

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