In last week's blog, I introduced you to my "Kansas" — the one-red-light-town of Newville, Pennsylvania. If you go another three miles past the red light, you'll come to the farmhouse where I was raised.
I can still picture my mother's brown Wurlitzer piano sitting in the living room. It was a treasure to her because as a young woman she purchased it with her own money in the 1940's. It was the centerpiece of my life.
I have no first memory of the piano...just a collage of memories. In fact, it feels as if the piano and I were womb mates and we grew up as playmates.
According to my mother, I started playing by ear when I was two or three years old. In her opinion, one thing that separated me from other children was my approach to it. While others would bang on it, I'd touch the keys very gently, one note at a time. I later learned that there is a time and place to play fortissimo (very loud) but I had to come out of my shell before that ever happened.
Together, we [the piano and I] would put on little shows for my "Auntie Em and Uncle Henry." I must have had a thing for shows because in the winter, I'd perform little dances on our farm pond—ice skating to music and creating lovely choreographed movements. I tried to be just like the Olympic skaters I saw on our black and white TV. I'm sure I was just like them. LOL!
Sometimes, I'd create a little choir with the chess pieces from our chess set and of course, I always lined them up according to their height. The piano, the shows, the skating...these were all indicators of the creative path I would choose in the future. A convergence of skill and desire.
Angie — after her bath.
In addition to musical fantasies, I suppose every farm girl needs a dog and we had many. My personal favorite was Angie; a lovely apricot-colored poodle. Sorry Toto, nothing against Terriers. My mother liked poodles and picked Angel from a December litter—a Christmas dog. She followed me around the farm and sometimes she'd sit on my lap when I practiced the piano. Yes, I was one of those odd children who loved to practice.
It's pretty clear that my fascination with performing started with living room shows around the piano, skating to music and arranging plastic chess choirs. Once I began writing music and recording albums, I started getting invitations to sing at various churches and events.
About fourteen years after my first album, Under The Big Blue Sky, I began to dream of doing a big annual Christmas concert and in 2014, I started Portraits of White.
As I read back through my mother's stories, I'm reminded again and again of how God took care of her in the midst of so many trials and setbacks. I learned the power of prayer from watching her. She would pray about everything, and as a child, I must have learned more from her than I realized.
It seemed God often heard her prayers and met the desires of her heart in simple, yet profound ways. Even when she didn't feel very pretty after the bad car accident and was still mourning the death of her young husband, God was taking care of her and met an unspoken desire of her heart to be around books. (I remember her telling me once that books were rare when she was growing up and she longed to have access to them.)
Finding a job for a young widow back in the 1940's would not have been an easy thing, but you'll see how God was already working on her behalf through prayer. A phone call not only opened up a job opportunity for her, but to her delight, it also gave her access to all kinds of books!
One of my favorite pictures of my mother, Bertha.
More from Bertha's life–
"From that day on, I've had that peace and joy and contentment that I wanted so badly but didn't know how to get. I had surrendered my all, my everything to the Lord. I remember saying to God after that—"I want to glorify you, but I don't know how to do it. If you can use me to glorify you, don't let me know that you're doing it, lest I become proud."
Even now, when I go through something difficult, I say, "Lord, back there in 1947 when I told you to glorify yourself, that still holds, if you can use anything about me."
I have the deep settled peace in my heart that God is still directing my steps. If I didn't have that, I don't know how I would have gotten through the difficult times.
A few weeks later, I had a phone call from Avery Heisey, from the Christian Light Press, (now Lifeway Christian Store in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania) offering me a job to come and work in his bookstore in Chambersburg (located downtown at that time).
My response was "Do you know how I look?! My jaw is crooked; my face is swollen; I'm not fit to work in public."
He said, "I know, but it's okay."
He wanted me to come and work there anyway. I was very grateful for a job where I was surrounded by so many wonderful people, good books to read, and music."
Back to Frances—
Yes—God even cares about the smallest, hidden desires, like access to books!
What is the desire of your heart today? Have you told Him lately?
"Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:8
Here's a song I wrote with Darwin Moody years ago based on the very principle that God sees everything about us; the things we want to hide about ourselves and the dreams we have. All we need to do is give Him permission to look into the deep places of our hearts. He loves to free us from the ugly stuff we might feel about ourselves (like a mis-shaped face from a broken jaw) as well as delight us with giving us the desires of our hearts.
