Friday, March 8, 2013

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 74 Scattered Thoughts

I have so many thoughts today.......scattered!

Taking a last-minute trip to Nashville?

Thinking about making a quick trip to Nashville next week when they track 3 of my songs.  I can Skype in on the recording session if I want to, but somehow it feels really important to me to be there.  What if this is the only Christmas CD I ever get to make?

I know that my producer is fully capable of capturing great takes, but these are my babies.  Somehow I can't quite imagine not being there on their first day out in the world.  But there are some dilemmas.....
  • What about my husband's bandaged hand and recovering thumb?  (I've been helping him with many things)
  • What about the doctor appointment my Mother is supposed to have next week?  (She needs someone with her) Who will take her to that?  Or can we reschedule?
  • Anyone have relatives that would 'put me up' for one night near Roanoke VA? - (that would be about half-way to Nashville from home).  It would help cut costs for me!

Stage Manager???

Made a phone call to a friend today who I think could be a good stage manager for the show.  I haven't heard back from the other person I called yet - of course I will try them again, but this other person's name keeps coming to my mind and so I decided to give him a call and ask him to pray and think about it.  He is trustworthy, attends well to details and is very dependable.  We would have to create the description of his role together, but it feels like a good step.  We'll see where it goes.

Needed Inspiration

I listened to another podcast today as I drove to take my Mother out to lunch.  I have listened to Music Business Radio with David Hooper for years and his show always inspires me.  Today was no different.  It's a great interview with a singer/songwriter Matt Brouwer and a great producer, Michael Omartian.  If you want an inside look at the process, this is a great interview.  Podcast interview.

Taking Time Out

This morning I was able to make headway on an upcoming booking that I have in NY in April.  I'm supposed to speak on "Help Lord, I'm stuck".   Boy, can I ever relate to that!!!  As I spent the morning working on this message it started coming together well.  Because of that, I decided to take time out and go be with my Mother.  I took her to Olive Garden (used up part of a gift card).

It's amazing how spending time with someone you love can trigger so many things.  My mother and I are very different, and yet, we are so much alike.

Many people in the music industry will tell you that you can't listen to your mother when it comes to pursuing music because everyone's mother thinks they are great and you need people who will be more objective about your music to keep your head on straight.  That has never been my problem.  I've never once heard her say that she is proud of me (that I can remember).

My mother doesn't really 'get' what I do and what's in my heart.  She took me to piano lessons week after week, gave me time and space to practice the piano so I was ready for my lessons and helped me pursue that aspect of my life....when I was young.   Now as I'm older, it's not quite as simple.

She loved her 5 babies.  I have no babies.  Well.....mine are a different type of baby.  They are my songs.  It's not that I don't wish for a baby sometimes though....but I have my own journey now.

She loves to cook.  I would rather have a butler, maid and chef.

But this doesn't mean that I don't love her.  We are just different.

She's 90, I'm 46.
When she was 50, I was only 7.   At that age, my brother died.  That's a lot for a mother who is 50 and a little girl who is only 7.  I still have some residue from that in my life.  It shows up in my writing and I'm afraid it shows up in other areas too.

It's amazing how we still have to learn how to navigate relationships even into our adult years.  I debated all the way home whether to write honestly about this struggling relationship.  But after hearing again from someone who is reading this blog and sometimes thinks I am writing about them (which I am not!!!) I realized that this is about journaling my life and welcoming others to walk with me.  If you find yourself in my shoes, than it is encouraging because we really shouldn't walk alone.

For those out there who follow your dreams even when your parents don't 'get' it, know that you are not alone.  We can do this.  It's not about being against THEM (your parents).  It's about growing BECAUSE of them.   May this struggle make me stronger and more compassionate. you can see - I am scattered in my thoughts today.
My Mother and I at the Olive Garden

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