Last night as I was peeling potatoes for supper, I heard myself say, "Oh My", out loud.
I stopped and wondered if my husband heard me in the other room. I didn't even know I was going to say it. How loud did I say it? It felt like I shouted it.
Fear. That's what caused it. I realized that I am getting very close to where the rubber meets the road.
It's so easy to dream about what will be, until you actually have to make a commitment. Like the guy who decides to actually propose to the one he loves and make a life time promise. Or the man who realizes that in about one month, he's going to actually have a baby in the house and for the rest of his life (or at least 2 decades) he will have another life to care for.
At 4:00 on Thursday I will be visiting the venue I'm considering. If I like it, I'll need to put a deposit on it. I will set something in motion that will be very difficult to stop.
Fears:
What if people don't come?
What if the CD isn't done by Nov. 23?
What if I can't find the musicians I need?
What if I charge too much for tickets?
What if I don't charge enough?
Will I really have the courage to promote this?
What if people come and don't like it?
On and on.......
The whys.....the who....the what ifs.......
At some point, one must rise up and speak to the fears and tell them to leave you alone.
On the way home from the church - I prayed. I cast all the cares and details of this dream on my Father and asked Him to continue to lead every step and to give me divine appointments.
I stopped and wondered if my husband heard me in the other room. I didn't even know I was going to say it. How loud did I say it? It felt like I shouted it.
Fear. That's what caused it. I realized that I am getting very close to where the rubber meets the road.
It's so easy to dream about what will be, until you actually have to make a commitment. Like the guy who decides to actually propose to the one he loves and make a life time promise. Or the man who realizes that in about one month, he's going to actually have a baby in the house and for the rest of his life (or at least 2 decades) he will have another life to care for.
At 4:00 on Thursday I will be visiting the venue I'm considering. If I like it, I'll need to put a deposit on it. I will set something in motion that will be very difficult to stop.
Fears:
What if people don't come?
What if the CD isn't done by Nov. 23?
What if I can't find the musicians I need?
What if I charge too much for tickets?
What if I don't charge enough?
Will I really have the courage to promote this?
What if people come and don't like it?
On and on.......
The whys.....the who....the what ifs.......
At some point, one must rise up and speak to the fears and tell them to leave you alone.
On the way home from the church - I prayed. I cast all the cares and details of this dream on my Father and asked Him to continue to lead every step and to give me divine appointments.
Wow, I can identify with these fears so closely, Frances! I am so excited to think that your show will really happen... and the Rose looks like such a beautiful place for a Christmas show. Yet I can so greatly understand all the fears that have popped up in your mind. I remember one time when I had extreme stage fright for a piano recital and was laying in my bed saying I couldn't go. My mom told me it was my decision, that she wouldn't make me go, but then she said something that has stayed with me for the rest of my life: "If you don't go, you'll never know whether you could have done it or not." So I'll say that to you, Frances: If you don't take this opportunity, you'll never know whether or not you would have been successful...... I'll keep praying!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful comment to wake up to this morning! I appreciate the glimpse into your own life. Amazing how one-line phrases like that will stick with us for a life time. Your support is very much appreciated!
ReplyDelete