Wednesday, February 20, 2013

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 62 Is it worth it?

Michael W. Smith has been one of my favorite artists since I was a young girl.  I really love his music.

Today his music made me cry.

This morning my car wouldn't start.  Wouldn't even turn over!  Dead.

Jumped in vehicle # 2 and headed to work.  Cried all the way there.  Listening to his song "Grace" didn't help stop the tears.  In fact, it made them worse....but I let them fall.

Why is following your heart so hard sometimes?  Life throws so many things at us that try to steal them away or get you to quit.

As I watched Tom struggle to do the little things with his injured thumb (from yesterday) and realize that next week holds another lay up for him (surgery on his other hand) which cuts into our finances....I began to feel overwhelmed.  How can I keep pursuing my dreams when we struggle so much financially at times like this?

Early this morning I got a quote from the other producer.  It's much lower than the first producer's price.  That's encouraging.  But the car problem, the struggle I saw in Tom and the overwhelming reality of life, in stark contrast to my dreams, made me cry.

When you listen to a song that moves you in your soul, you don't think about how much it cost to record it. When you go to a show and are moved by the music, the lights, the violin, the singers.....did you consider how much it cost for them to put on the show?  Of course not.  Who cares?!

In the beauty of moments like this, we don't care.  We just know that our soul is soothed.  We grab on to hope.  We feel like we can go on - just by the touch of a song.  That's why we go to a show.  That's why we listen to music.  It lifts us.

As you read this blog, now you are beginning to get a glimpse into what might have gone into that one single moment.

Is it worth it?

When I'm on this side of it - blogging, setting goals, getting prices, starting dead cars, feeling overwhelmed, I wonder if it is worth it.

When I'm the one listening to the song that makes me cry and gives me hope, I'm so glad Michael has recorded his songs.  The details don't matter.  I just know that I've been moved.

So, I will keep going.  For the joy of that one moment when it all comes together and someone cries because of what they hear.

Surely it is worth it.

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