What makes you feel like something is religious? Is it something you feel, see, taste or refrain from tasting? Is it something you wear?
When you feel like you've had a religious experience, what were your surroundings? Nature? Cement? People? Music? Silence?
You must be wondering where I'm going with this. This week's Portraits of White fan question was very thought-provoking. I've been chewing on it all summer.
"Do you ever consider making Portraits of White more religious?"
I remember the first time I experienced someone who was obviously NOT religious—at least, not in the way I was raised.
I am 20 years old and I am working at Domino's Pizza as a delivery driver in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, just outside the city of Tulsa. I am attending a two year Bible School program and need a job to help support myself for the next two years.
It's a fun job! In the winter, I do donuts in the parking lot in my little blue Mazda, when it snows. I eat plenty of great pizza—between deliveries, of course. I probably won't stay at this job for long because it just doesn't make sense (or cents) with the wear and tear on my car. But it's all I can find for now. Not only will I learn the geography of Broken Arrow, I'm' about to be introduced to the "world."
My boss's language was, well...let's just say it was quite colorful. Though the words that I heard coming out of his mouth shocked me, I could tell that it was more than just his words that were different. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I remember thinking to myself, "I thought you could tell if someone was religious by what they are wearing, but now I think I see that there's more to it than just what you can see about someone."
I had been raised in a very sheltered atmosphere at home, church and school. I was never aloud to say filler words like, "rats" or "darn." It just wasn't proper or godly. I tried saying "rats" a few times, but my mother always scolded me. I didn't like rats anyway, so it was no big deal to stop using the word.
As I grew into womanhood, I made sure I "looked" the part of being a religious person because it was easy to meet the standards. I knew clearly where the lines were. Well, mostly. I was never sure how long the dress should be, or whether I should wear my hair up or down. I just wanted to be perfect and loved. We certainly didn't accessorize, though for some reason, a simple decorative pin might be ok from time to time. I didn't really question the standards. I did what was recommended. I even tried to do above and beyond the expectations, just to be sure.
I certainly tried to make sure my heart was good too. It took me a long time to understand that there is so much more to living a God-life than the things you can see, taste, wear or say. In fact, some of the toughest times in my adult years came from conversations with my mother. She saw the world in black and white and sometimes I wanted to add some color—to my lips and my eyes. I liked fancy outfits and hair.
In Oklahoma, I began to understand that I viewed God in black and white. It makes sense since that's how I grew up. But, He was rather hard to please, in my opinion. I couldn't have said this specifically back then because I was very busy and studious about trying to be perfect. I had always tried be perfect for Him, so He would love me.
It's taken me years to untangle myself from some of that thinking and to understand who God really is. I don't have Him figured out yet and I'm old enough to know now that I never will. So I try to live with a much more open hand and heart, extending grace and compassion to others. I even wish I could meet my first "worldly" boss from Domino's. I'd like a chance to understand his journey and what was really going on inside his heart, beyond his words. Instead of such quick deduction about him, I wish I could have taken the time to actually get to know him.
So back to Portraits of White. What would make it "feel" like a more religious program? Do I ever consider making it more religious? I just don't know what "more religious" would look like.
I write songs about my life. Snow. Sleigh rides. Miracles. God. Christmas. Loneliness. Death. I honestly don't know how to compartmentalize my life. It's all mixed into one big pot. All I know to do is offer up what is currently going on in my heart and life each year. I start with a blank page at the beginning of the planning stage and start writing according to what I sense I want to do in my heart. Everything I say, sing and write is an overflow of my heart.
So you're likely going to hear some sad songs and happy songs. You'll probably laugh a little and might even cry. I want you to walk away feeling alive and inspired. I want you to know that some of the feelings you might experience during the holidays are normal and you're not alone.
I prefer to offer my gift and my heart to you. If you walk away feeling as if you've had a religious experience, I would be thrilled. But only you can know what that means for you.
It's 2013 and I am sitting in the beautiful American Music Theatre in the heart of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, watching a Christmas show with a group of seniors (50 and up) from my church. I am serving as the Director of Worship and somehow I am lucky enough to have been the recipient of a complimentary ticket at the last minute. This was a perk I didn't see coming when I said yes to the job.
Normally, I spend my days at the church trying to plan a meaningful worship service, so taking a day trip on a fancy coach bus and eating a scrumptious Lancaster County meal with the church people I serve only adds to the pleasure of the trip. The Christmas show is the perfect ending to a wonderful day.
As the show finishes, I sit in my seat, in a state of shock. We didn't go to see this kind of thing when I was growing up, so I am pretty mesmerized by the whole production; from the set to the musicians, lighting and sound. I love it all!
"THIS is what I want my Christmas show to be like. A professional show, with a personal touch." Did I just say that out loud? I exit the building with the rest of our group and I am completely energized. My mind is racing with ideas. My body is riding home on the coach bus, but my brain is somewhere else...scheming about how to do my own show.
I can't help it. I seem to have been born with the ability to come up with tornadic ideas. The kind that carry my brain off to a fantasy land while the rest of my household lives in a perpetual state of stress because of it. Just ask my cats...and my husband.
A tornado can be a violent outburst of emotion or activity like the planning of a Christmas show not just a violent rotating column of air, as in a potentially violent and destructive system of atmospheric circulation, characterized by a long, funnel-shaped cloud extending toward the ground and made visible by condensation and debris. Try saying that sentence three times real fast!
In the Wizard of Oz, it was a tornado that swept Dorothy (and her house) off her feet. When the twister stopped twisting and dropped her off in a new land, she thought she was over the rainbow. Dorothy sensed she wasn't in Kansas anymore. She was hoping for a place where all of her dreams really would come true and where she could be free of trouble. Boy, was she ever in for a surprise. The house dropping on the witch was just the beginning.
I too was in for a whirlwind of a journey when I decided to turn my Portraits of White album into a show. I thought I was headed for a land of bliss and fantasy (well, almost.) It seemed like such a great idea!
However, I had a lot to learn. The reality of this learning curve struck me as soon as the conductor started explaining all that I'd need to do JUST to have the music ready for an orchestra. Oops.
In a nutshell, all I ever wanted to do was create an experience that would sweep people off their feet and carry them to a land without troubles...at least for one weekend in December. A professional show with a personal touch. In 2014, I set out to make the first one happen.
Portraits of White 2014
I knew I was accomplishing my mission when I started hearing people say they felt as if they were simultaneously attending a professional production and sitting in my living room having coffee with me. That's exactly what I wanted people to experience.
So this seems like a good place in the story to address the next question on the list from someone who asked, "What do I tell other people when they want to know what Portraits of White is?"
Here is a collection of responses we've received from people who were asked how they would describe the show...
“It blew me away.”
“Portraits of White is a show that brings together a world-class entertainer and orchestra to tell a story of how one person came to love “the Heart of Christmas” again.”
“If a good show was a good meal, Portraits of White would be Thanksgiving.”
“I laughed, I cried, I sang, then I left wanting more!”
“A refreshing 2 1/2 hour escape!!”
“Carefully crafted, from the heart, warm and fuzzy, and entertaining…not your typical Christmas show.”
“Breathtaking.”
“Portraits of White will make you look at winter in a totally different way! Bring it on!”
“Equates to any professional show I have seen in New York, Gatlinburg and Dollywood at Christmas. Close to home and much cheaper.”
“A true work of art for any music lover.”
“No special effects needed.”
“A different Christmas experience. Not a Broadway production with the same thing over and over.”
“Christmas came to life at the concert today! Frances was full of the joy of the season without the artificial syrupy sweetness the world markets. We could sit back, smile, and enjoy the incredible musicianship of all the participants.”
“This concert will overflow your Christmas soul. Frances Drost is so personable and down to earth. She has a way of making you feel as though she’s one of your best friends. But on the other side of that, her talent is amazing and unbelievable. You will be so glad you attended and you will make mental plans already to attend next year.”
“What a variety of music and musicians! I left everything else outside and was just present with Frances and the performances. I left feeling filled!”
“It was a magical experience that celebrated Christmas with creativity. It was nice to attend a concert that wasn’t the traditional.”
“This show was a delightful experience for both eyes and ears, but the emotional and spiritual impact was phenomenal!”
“In the midst of a beautiful but frequently hectic season Portraits of White is like coming inside from the cold, and sitting down by a fire with a mug of hot cocoa, a cozy blanket and your best friend to enjoy it with.”
“Professional production with a personal touch.”
“The show is a very real testimony of the performer’s background and their lives shared with the audience. Frances never fails to inspire and encourage the dreams of others and age incorporates all types of musicians, singers, and different backgrounds to perform. I love the openness and honesty of Frances and that she is not afraid to share the good and bad with others, which speaks to me very personally and I so appreciate this!”
“Special, different from the run of the mill holiday shows.”
“A breath of fresh air. Down to earth.”
“It’s like nothing else you have seen before. You will come away wanting more.”
“A beautiful way to enhance your Christmas celebration. It’s been a part of ours for four years.”
“It will inspire you, entertain you, even bring peace. You will go away feeling better than you came.”
“One of the best holiday concerts I have ever attended.”
“Portraits of White is delightful! Great musicians leave you well entertained with their skill. Yet I find I see beyond the musicality into the true meaning of Christmas, of Christ’s birth and the reality of his love that can be afforded to those around us at Christmas time and throughout the year. Lay aside the hustle and bustle to engage your heart at Christmas.”
“A variety of musical performances by many talented artists. It never got boring!”
“This show is a wonderful way to find your Christmas heart! Francis finds a way to touch each person there and create a special aura of joy and wonder. Part of our new Christmas traditions!!”
“If you enjoy Christmas music, and are a Christmas addict like I am, I mean… everything about it, You must see Portraits of White!”
“It’s truly a worship experience with a high degree of professionalism and a home town feel.”
“It was entertaining and warmed my heart. I felt like I was part of the show.”
“Highly entertaining, top-shelf musicianship, enough feel-good feelings to go around twice.”
“This concert gives you a reason to go home and continue to get ready for the celebration of Christmas!!”
“We are grateful for the performance that touched our hearts and minds and created a sacred pause during Advent.”
“This concert is a snowy wonderland way to experience the Christmas Season. It is not Christmas without Portraits Of White.”
“The atmosphere of the community of the musicians, recognizing them, featuring them and their talents – for me it made everyone feel like a “village” experience.”
“I felt cared for from the moment I walked in the door.”
“A wonderful performance perfectly constructed to lift up a weary spirit and remind us of the real reason for the season.”
“If you’re tempted to give up on Christmas, this concert will restore your joy!”
“A non-stop blitzkrieg of Christmas blessings.”
“It is a wonderful experience of music, some familiar Christmas music, some original to Frances, wonderful professional arrangements of Christmas music – special to Frances’s concert – so that one is consistently hearing new music. I like the acoustic direction this year’s concert took – so much intimacy with music. So wonderful to have the quality of professional musicians as well as feeling like we’re getting to know Frances more.”
“If you imagine that you are ‘Christmas prepared’ you aren’t until you experience Portraits of White. I doubled my guests this year and hope to double them again next year! Totally unique Christmas experience.”
“Portraits of White has become a holiday staple for me. I have found it to be a wonderful way to curtail the chaos of Christmas for an evening and focus my heart on the true beauty of the season. In addition, the show is such an amazing showcase of local talent. Frances makes everyone a star for the night! And because she so artfully draws attention to the giftedness of herself and others, she is able to weave the wonder of heaven into a rockin’ holiday show without ever making it awkward or obnoxious.”
“The decorations, flow, talent, humor, etc. all hit just the right notes! This was my first Portraits of White concert and I have already noted my calendar for next fall to order tickets.”
“Nothing on earth is perfect, but this concert comes close to attaining the label!”
“The entire show just spoke to my heart and moved me like no other service or show.”
“Portraits of White is the quintessential Christmas music performance, with beautiful, harmonic vocals surrounded by the ultimate orchestra and conductor, Frances shines brightly!”
“This show is fantastic! High-quality production and AMAZING regional and national talent! Attend once and you will want to make it an annual tradition!”
“It touched my heart and reminded me of why this season is so magical.”
“An awesome night of entertainment. From laughing to crying and feeling all warm inside. It’s worth it.”
“This show has become the highlight of the Christmas season for me. Frances Drost is so talented yet down to earth that she warms your heart with both her singing and piano playing as well as sharing her life’s ups and downs.”
“Professional quality show with a nice mix of Christmas music performed by accomplished musicians. The star of the show is Frances Drost, who has worked hard to bring her childhood dream come true to offer a Christmas program that is family friendly, fun and inspirational. From the lovely stage set to the talented orchestra, to the wit and humor from Frances, you won’t go away disappointed.”
“Portraits of White is an amazing show with an extraordinary performance that is sure to get the audience into the holiday spirit. In my opinion, the quality of the musicians is on a scale comparable to any professionally done show performed by well know musicians in the business. It is a show well worth attending!”
“This is THE concert to usher in the Christmas holiday season. Frances is so talented, and she mixes her own originals with classics! There are fantastic soloists and singers. It is top notch! Frances is so funny, yet she mixes in a vulnerability that makes her so real and makes it ok to mix sad with joy.”
When I choose a cupcake, it's about the icing. In fact, when I went looking for an image for this post, there were lots of great colors and images to choose from. But I saw this chocolate icing and of course, I chose this one.
I feel like dreams are like cupcakes. The icing is the delicious part. It's what we think about when we have a spare moment. We go for the icing!
The cupcake is what it takes underneath the great ideas.
When I started dreaming of doing a Christmas show, my original idea was to build it in my home area and then take it to cities across the U.S. That was the icing on my cupcake.
There's one thing I forgot about cake. It's made of things that take a lot of work to produce.
Flour
Eggs
Sugar
Think about where they come from.
Someone bought a farm, bought chickens and started gathering eggs. They have to feed the chickens, build a home for them and keep them from foxes.
Somewhere someone is growing canes of sugar. It takes months to grow and lots of care. Hard work.
What about chocolate?
"First, the pods must be harvested, which is usually done twice a year. Because the trees are too fragile to climb, harvesting is accomplished by workers on the ground, who wield either a machete or a long pole with a machete on the end. Then, workers open the pods by hand, taking care not to damage the beans inside.
Next comes one of the most important steps in the process – fermentation. The beans, still sticky with pulp, are placed in earthen pits or wooden bins and covered with banana leaves, then left to ferment. The heat of fermentation changes the bitter flavors in the beans into something more edible, more chocolatey. The sugars in the bean turn into acids, the color changes from pale to dark brown, and the pulp residue melts away. The length of the fermentation process depends on the type of bean; the higher quality beans may need only a few days, where others may need a week or more.
After fermentation, the beans are dried in the sun for about a week. The flavor continues to develop during this time. Some manufacturers try to speed this process along by drying the beans over a fire, which gives them a smoky, inferior flavor.
Once the beans are dry, they are ready to be shipped to a factory, where they are turned into chocolate." Taken from "Facts About Chocolate". We haven't even touched on how to get flour. Now that I know what's involved in doing a big Christmas show (the icing) I have a much more realistic approach to that dream (the cupcake). Right now, it's all I can do to pull of ONE show. So here's what I'm thinking. The icing keeps me going. The cupcake underneath - that's the hard work. Put them together and it will be quite tasty! Most days I'd rather sit and lick the icing....forget the rest. But I can't. I will need both! Hmm...I'm feeling kinda hungry for chocolate. Better get busy growing a chocolate tree.
I was sitting in the pew at church, listening to the speaker.
I had been praying about my inability to say 'no' to food.
I think God answered my prayer that day.
It was a message on 'gluttony' - of all things.
Gluttony: Excessive eating and drinking
Five forms of gluttony:
1. Too soon
2. Too expensive
3. Too much
4. Too eagerly
5. Too delicately - J.R. Briggs
I'm like most women in their 40's. I struggle to maintain a desirable weight. It's been almost a year since I injured my ankle and I am just now beginning to exercise regularly again without pain in my foot. I've gained between 15-20 pounds since that day in April last year. Bummer.
Even though I have been trying to replace the snack foods I enjoy - my homemade cookies, cakes and pies - with nuts, grapes, oranges and apples, I began to realize that I just couldn't say no to eating, whether the food was healthy or not so healthy. Especially in the evenings.
I became even more alarmed when clothes that normally fit, were too tight. That usually leads to self-hatred and frustration. Many women know the cycle. And it gets harder to break as we get older. When it comes to losing weight, things that worked in our 30's don't work as easily in our 40's.
I think the thing that 'cut through the calories' as I was listening to the speaker was this statement:
Don't ask: How much is too much?
Ask: How dominated by the desire for this pleasure am I?
That's what I needed to hear. See, I was thinking he'd address my portions and the truth is, I don't eat very big portions....but I AM dominated by the desire for the pleasure of eating. That's where he got me.
I realize that even though I am learning to eat more healthily, I am still letting my flesh dictate my decisions. Eating when it isn't necessary. Eating just because I want to. I think that's the excessive part.
"A glutton is one who raids the refrigerator in search of something to meet a spiritual need." - another quote by Briggs who could put away 6 baskets of fries at Red Robin. He had his own struggles. I appreciated his transparency.
I've made some changes since that message. It's just what I needed. It wasn't condemning. It was freeing.
I want to be a singer/songwriter who is skilled and upright in every area of my life and I believe a part of that is self-control. Discipline. The ability to say 'no' to my flesh when it screams to have its way, in any area of my life. Hopefully, as I practice discipline in every area of my life, when the big battle comes (whatever that may be) I will be well suited to fight.
So what is the CSD diet? It stands for "Christmas Show Dress". You can come up with your own special outfit. MOTBD - Mother Of The Bride Dress. LCD - Leather Chaps Diet. Whatever works.
If I am tempted to eat when or what I don't need, I simply say to myself, "christmas show dress". It gives a visual to my goal. It's the reverse of waiting until you try on new clothes at the store and yell "I need to lose more weight". Now I think about that dress before I eat the thing I don't need. It's just a creative way to help me stay focused.
So there you have it. Will I fail? I hope not, but probably. That's what prayer is for.
