My mother's elephants

Last week was a whirlwind.  'Been living on the edge of crutches and insanity instead of ice skate blades.  

My mother had to move to the nursing section of the retirement home where she lives.  I have achilles tendonitis and have to be on crutches another 2 weeks so I tried to move her while hobbling around.  

While helping her downsize yet again, I had to make a lot of decisions about what to keep and what to let go of.  

I came upon these 2 elephants and I couldn't resist writing a blog about them.

Last year at this time I was blogging about "The Elephant Diet" and conquering demons and aspiring to our dreams by eating the 'big' elephants in our lives ONE bite at a time.  

I smiled as I picked them up and ran my hands over their smooth surfaces.

I have a Christmas CD, I am planning the big show I had dreamt of last year, I am learning to figure skate (though I'm on break right now) and all this one bite at a time.  I'm helping my mother move, and doing it one step at a time (or one crutch hop at a time).  That's how we accomplish great things.

"If you had started doing anything two weeks ago, by today you would have been two weeks better at it.” ― John Mayer (guitarist and songwriter). Don't wait until you have everything as you want it to start on your dreams.  Just start.

The elephants in the picture belong to my mother.  She's had them since I was a little girl. She has overcome so many elephants in her life that it's hard to even list them all - death of her first husband and two sons and dealing with many illnesses that still affect her to this day.  I found some letters she started to her children on big yellow legal pads (though she never finished them or distributed them) and I saw reflections of a life of determination, heartbreak and desire to live completely surrendered to God's touch in her life, even when it meant suffering.

I looked at the two elephants and realized that all these hurdles in her life have led to this point in time. She's still here and still trying to conquer temptation to be discouraged. She still has more obstacles to overcome - bless her heart.  Life just doesn't quit throwing things at her that are hard.  But she keeps pressing on.

I think I'll keep these elephants. I can't remember where they came from exactly, but I sure am learning more about perseverance and faith from my mother - the one who made a home for them originally, way before I ever started a blog or knew what an elephant was.

A Christmas show is on the way! Buy tickets here. (another elephant gone).

I'm moving!

I've packed my bags, put stuff in boxes and I'm ready to re-locate.

Though I dream of moving to Nashville to become a better songwriter and bask in the culture of music and though we've fantasized about moving to Arizona or California where we could ride our motorcycles all year long, it's not the kind of re-locating you might think.

The kind of move I'm talking about could appear to be easier than a geographical re-locating, but I feel like it's harder.

I'm talking about how I view life and how I process thoughts. It's along the lines of the glass half empty or full mentality in my earlier blog.

Because I've discovered that I tend to be one of those who sees the glass half empty, I've made a deliberate decision to start changing how I think.  I want to re-locate. I want to move from pessimism to optimism.  From darkness to light.  From sadness to joy.  From doubt and fear, to faith.

I'm packing up old thoughts and sending them away.  I don't think they actually even qualify for recycling.  I think they need to be placed into the incinerator.

Some days I'm tempted to unpack everything I've boxed up.  It feels easier to just stay in my comfort zone, even if it's not real comfortable.  At least it's familiar.

Moving means having to learn new roads, new patterns, new cultures.  That's why it appeals to us sometimes.  A sort of 'starting over' in a sense.  But starting over can be daunting and then we start wishing for the familiar, even if it was bad.

Learning to see the glass half full requires looking at things from a new perspective.   It means realizing that there are at least 2 ways to look at every situation.

Sadness or Joy? 

When my Mother fell last June and had to move into an apartment and start eating meals in the main dining area at the retirement home where she lives, I found myself filled with sorrow when I'd leave.  I felt so sad for her that she had to go through this stage of life when everything is changing faster than she can manage.  I would fight the tears and find myself thinking things like......poor Mother, this is so hard, I wish she didn't have to be in this place. 

But as I began to learn to change how I think about everything, I realized it could apply in this situation too.  I began to focus on the good things that exist in her life.  The fact that she is surrounded by nurses who can care for her and meals provided for her when she doesn't feel up to cooking. There are many others there who are walking the same road and can truly identify with her so she can find others to empathize with her.

Desperation or Inspiration?

I used to dread winter because we couldn't ride our motorcycles and the nights get long when we turn the clocks back.  But this year I decided to be proactive.  I started getting DVDs from the library and sometimes we spend the evening watching DVDs of the history of our country.  I've seen so many stories of how one person made a big difference for either good or bad and that has inspired me.

I've also stocked up on good books to read about improving your life and learning habits/patterns from successful people.  The winter is moving quickly this year.  Time really doesn't speed up, but our perspective can really move things along.

So as I pack up old thoughts and perspectives and replace them with new patterns and views, I'm finding the landscape to be improving.  And though you won't be getting a change of address card from me in the mail any time soon, you might observe a change in my countenance next time you see me.  I am re-locating.