Do You Love Yourself?

You shall love—

“love the Eternal One your God with everything you have: 

all your heart, 

all your soul, 

all your strength, 

and all your mind”

—and “love your neighbor as yourself.” 

I've grown up hearing this verse and trying to live it all my life. Sometimes it seemed like this was the one place where we were given permission to "love yourself". But it was usually a slight mention, so it felt a bit self-indulgent to truly think about that part of the verse. It's simply a tag line anyway isn't it? An afterthought?

Picture a lake full of liquid love; a loving yourself kind-of-love. "Please feel free to dip your little toe in it, but don't jump in with both feet because that would mean you are totally self-indulgent."

Doing the "life value" exercise I've been doing feels like going skinny dipping in a lake I've danced around all my life but was too afraid to let myself experience.

I have been given permission to swim unrestrained and let the waters engulf every part of me. What a transforming experience this has been.

Now, I ask you. Do you love yourself? 

And what does loving yourself have to do with loving your neighbor? 

What if you don't really like who you are? 

Does it have an impact on how you love God and others?

Perhaps what I didn't understand was the difference between your beautifully created soul/self and your egotistical self.  I was so afraid of having an ego that I was afraid to even think about "loving yourself". Perhaps I just perceived things through a child's mind and didn't get the whole picture.

I'm beginning to see now that part of the journey of discovering your life values has a lot to do with embracing the beautiful soul you were created to be. As I've gone through this process and have discovered (in a deeper way) who Frances is, it's almost as if all my life I have been auditioning to be Frances Drost but never really got the job because I've never been sure who she was.

"Frances" means "free one". I've never been good at being free. But I'm turning 50 in a couple of months and I'm very excited. I finally feel qualified to be me and there's no better way to celebrate this huge milestone than to turn 50 and embrace the freedom I'm finding.

Part of me wants to throw away all my old clothes - completely rid my closet and drawers of all the old wardrobe and stock it with different (doesn't have to be brand new) just new and different for me. The sole purpose would be to start my new position as "Frances Drost". It would be a symbolic act of shedding the old me and embracing the new. No more black clothes - how about bright blues, pinks and reds??? My budget doesn't allow for that, but I can put on a new attitude.

I think I can finally fill my shoes.  

So in light of all this, I'm wrapping up this segment of life values by sharing mine here. These are certainly a work in progress so it's not like I'm "done". But I have a clearly defined vision of who I am and that is helping to steer everything about my life. I've added action statements to help me stay on track.

1.) Well-being

- a good or satisfactory condition of existence; a state characterized by health, happiness, and prosperity; welfare:

Because I value well-being:

I will take care of my body by exercising and eating well.
I will take care of my spirit by prayer and scripture meditation.
I will take care of my soul by pursuing soul development through life-long learning and creation, especially as it relates to music and songwriting.

2.) Beauty

- the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

Because I value beauty:

I will do what I can to make my heart beautiful. (scripture and prayer)
I will do what I can to make my body beautiful. (exercise and healthy eating)
I will do what I can to make my soul beautiful.  (learning and creating)

3.) Authenticity

- true to one's own personality, spirit, or character

Because I value authenticity:

I will do all I can to learn who Frances is.
I will do all I can to stay true to who Frances was created to be.
I will do all I can to be authentic in my writing, speaking and living.

4.)  Solitude

- a state or situation in which you are alone usually because you want to be

Because I value solitude:

I will not shy away from my preference to be alone.
I will embrace the understanding that I create best when I am alone and do all I can to make the most of aloneness.

"Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, 

and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless 

until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again." 

God will make this happen, 

for he who calls you is faithful.

I Thessalonians 5:23-24

I ask you again, do you love yourself? Your beautiful self - created in the image of God?

You can start by using the exercises I've mentioned in the previous blog post "Day of Delight". It's a good place to start to get to know who you really are, for how can you love someone you do not know? You could start by researching the meaning of your name.

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 13

The journey continues........

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 6

I just finished reading a large dose of information about using Kickstarter to fund creative projects. That was the item on my to do list that seemed best suited for my very busy day today.

I can see that Kickstarter is its own elephant! But as I watched videos that other 'creators' have made to share their vision with the world, I was greatly inspired to think even more creatively about my Christmas CD project and how I could come up with inspiring ways to cast my vision to my network of fans and friends. The wheels are turning.

Another fantastic thing took place today.

I attended what has become an annual brunch hosted by a fan of mine who has now become a very dear friend. It was just 3 of us, but it was amazing. Her gift is hospitality and she really pours it on. These 2 ladies have been such a support to me the past couple of years. They are women I can look up to and talk to about so many things.

I decided to be bold and share my vision for a CD and shhhhh........(an annual Christmas show) with them and I was delighted by their response. As I began to open up my heart to them, they began to contribute their ideas and suggestions and were so anxious to hear more about it that we are going to meet again sometime next month and have a listening party. They will get to hear the rough drafts of my songs and are eager to watch the project unfold.

Not only was I encouraged by their excitement and support, but I walked away realizing that I have come a long way as an artist from when I first started. I used to be so shy about my journey and my dreams and only invited folks to see or hear the finished product.

I have become so much more comfortable in my skin and with who I am becoming, that this time around, as I blog each day and share the journey openly, I find it much more exciting to take people with me, than to go alone.

What a day!

The Elephant Diet

I've always heard that if you want to eat an elephant, it's best if you eat it 
one bite at a time.  

There are two elephants I'd like to eat these days:

1) getting better and more consistent about blogging
2) producing a Christmas CD

I think the best way I can do both, is to combine the two. 

So here I go!  

I am going to blog about the journey of what it's like to do a CD project and 
let you in on the process: the decisions and hard work that go into something 
of this magnitude.  

This will be my 7th CD project.  I've also recorded 2 singles and 1 professional 
music video.  They are all big elephants, but I've eaten them all and without 
having to go into debt to do it.

Welcome to the journey of making a CD.  Hopefully as you read this, you will get 
inspired to eat your own elephant - one bite at a time.

(I have no idea what the calorie count is when eating an elephant).

I'm moving!

I've packed my bags, put stuff in boxes and I'm ready to re-locate.

Though I dream of moving to Nashville to become a better songwriter and bask in the culture of music and though we've fantasized about moving to Arizona or California where we could ride our motorcycles all year long, it's not the kind of re-locating you might think.

The kind of move I'm talking about could appear to be easier than a geographical re-locating, but I feel like it's harder.

I'm talking about how I view life and how I process thoughts. It's along the lines of the glass half empty or full mentality in my earlier blog.

Because I've discovered that I tend to be one of those who sees the glass half empty, I've made a deliberate decision to start changing how I think.  I want to re-locate. I want to move from pessimism to optimism.  From darkness to light.  From sadness to joy.  From doubt and fear, to faith.

I'm packing up old thoughts and sending them away.  I don't think they actually even qualify for recycling.  I think they need to be placed into the incinerator.

Some days I'm tempted to unpack everything I've boxed up.  It feels easier to just stay in my comfort zone, even if it's not real comfortable.  At least it's familiar.

Moving means having to learn new roads, new patterns, new cultures.  That's why it appeals to us sometimes.  A sort of 'starting over' in a sense.  But starting over can be daunting and then we start wishing for the familiar, even if it was bad.

Learning to see the glass half full requires looking at things from a new perspective.   It means realizing that there are at least 2 ways to look at every situation.

Sadness or Joy? 

When my Mother fell last June and had to move into an apartment and start eating meals in the main dining area at the retirement home where she lives, I found myself filled with sorrow when I'd leave.  I felt so sad for her that she had to go through this stage of life when everything is changing faster than she can manage.  I would fight the tears and find myself thinking things like......poor Mother, this is so hard, I wish she didn't have to be in this place. 

But as I began to learn to change how I think about everything, I realized it could apply in this situation too.  I began to focus on the good things that exist in her life.  The fact that she is surrounded by nurses who can care for her and meals provided for her when she doesn't feel up to cooking. There are many others there who are walking the same road and can truly identify with her so she can find others to empathize with her.

Desperation or Inspiration?

I used to dread winter because we couldn't ride our motorcycles and the nights get long when we turn the clocks back.  But this year I decided to be proactive.  I started getting DVDs from the library and sometimes we spend the evening watching DVDs of the history of our country.  I've seen so many stories of how one person made a big difference for either good or bad and that has inspired me.

I've also stocked up on good books to read about improving your life and learning habits/patterns from successful people.  The winter is moving quickly this year.  Time really doesn't speed up, but our perspective can really move things along.

So as I pack up old thoughts and perspectives and replace them with new patterns and views, I'm finding the landscape to be improving.  And though you won't be getting a change of address card from me in the mail any time soon, you might observe a change in my countenance next time you see me.  I am re-locating.