Announcing the 2020 Spring Concert Series—Let's Get Together!

Over the years, after the Portraits of White concerts in December, people have suggested that I do a spring event. It's a long stretch between Decembers, so let's get together in April...May...and June! I've invited a couple of other music guests to join me. 

Join me for a relaxing, casual atmosphere.

• Four Sundays
• Four Locations (with a lovely grand piano)
• One hour of music (with Frances and other musical guests)
• FREE (Donations appreciated—give online or at the concert)
• Attend as many as you want

If you want to reserve your seat NOW...click HERE for dates, locations and times.

Brand New Me Podcast (now on iTunes).

I am really excited to announce the release of not only my new CD this year, but also a new podcast to go with it. You can click here to go to iTunes and subscribe.  This link will take you to the preview page in iTunes. Just click "view in iTunes" and you'll see the subscribe button. You'll automatically receive a new episode every week.

Here's a little bit of the background behind the podcast.

In this exciting new weekly podcast, Brand New Me, we: (Frances Drost, host and Pam Fleming, co-host) share not only our own stories of overcoming life's obstacles, but we are also capturing the stories of others that will inspire and offer you hope. We want to help you thrive in life, not just survive.

I, (Frances) am a concert artist who has enjoyed years of music ministry. I've also been working through the loss of two brothers, both parents and other close family members. The after affects of all these deaths became apparent in my songwriting; and once I began to understand how deeply I had been impacted, I was able to begin moving toward healing and joy.

Then, in my forties, I found even more freedom after uncovering a pattern I had developed all through my life that I call "performance-based" Christianity. You're only as loved as your last great performance when you struggle with this kind of thinking. This tendency resulted in some powerful fear and anxiety, leading to depression.

After lots of prayer, some counseling and a four-month adventure of learning to figure skate, a brand new me has slowly been emerging. As I'm learning more about God's grace and mercy, the title, Brand New Me, seemed like an appropriate theme for my new music project and now, podcast.

I'm excited to use my studio to record other people's stories of healing and hope and share them with you in the form of this podcast. You'll hear my music interspersed throughout the episodes.

I, (Pam) am an author and speaker who has lived through the loss of my 14-month-old daughter, a bout with cancer, a marriage betrayal, and the final blow - the suicide of my husband. If I can get off the couch, you can too!

My passion is for everyone to experience Jesus in a personal way; to see people healed from shame, depression, grief and the spirit of suicide; and to bring suicide awareness to the church.

We invite you to enjoy the banter between two fun-loving women as we share part of our own life experiences in a conversational-type presentation. We already have lots of people lined up to tell their stories and can't wait for you to hear them!

You won't want to miss an episode, so just use the link at the top to go to iTunes and subscribe. We'd love to have you leave a review there too. That would help get the message out to more people..

Join us every week for this exciting podcast.

We believe that you really can be a brand new me!

Should I Keep The Gray Hair? (and what does that have to do with life values?)

This week, I sat down with the couple overseeing my assignments about delight and values. I had a lot of questions.

Why am I establishing life values? What's the point of all this anyway?

As they unpacked the reasoning, it began to make sense, in a nebulous way, like an insurance salesman convincing you that you need insurance. You see the benefits on paper and make a decision, hoping you'll never really need it, right? Don't worry about the fine print of your policy. Just go ahead and sign. After all, you probably won't ever actually need the insurance.

Likewise, I have been working on my assignment, whether I think I need it or not. I thought I already know what's important to me, so as long as I'm headed in the right direction, isn't that ok? Do I really need a "core value" policy in place?

Determining your core life values provides clarity when making decisions about moving, relationships, weighing opportunities, discerning vocation, making commitments to social entities and maybe even determining the color of your hair. What??? (But I'll get to that in a moment.)

Here are some helpful questions to ask to get you started.

MUSIC

Based on my "day of delight," I thought I valued music. So I inserted the word music in each of these questions...but you can insert your own.

1. Why does music matter to me?

Music matters to me because it allows me to express what I think and feel. It gets the inside stuff out into the open, in a palatable way.

2. What does music tap into?

Music taps into my soul. I feel alive when I write it, perform it and listen to it. It taps into the creative side of me, the artist in me.

3. What is it about music that feels necessary?

It helps me analyze, process and summarize my feelings, theology, perspective, philosophy and inner meanderings. It even allows the playful side of me to take heavy feelings and distill them into bite size thoughts and keep from taking myself too seriously.

Sometimes what we list on paper is simply an expression of what we value.  For instance, though I love music, composing it and listening to it, perhaps what I really value underneath the music is being able to express myself authentically.

So you could say that music is an expression of my value of authenticity.  I don't feel compelled to write one particular genre of music, but I do feel compelled to write each song authentically within whatever framework the lyrics and melody dictate.  The feeling behind the song often determines the genre.

This could drive marketing and branding people nuts when marketing my music.  My producer has the challenge of keeping my music marketable and yet staying true to who "Frances" is. I think he does a pretty good job of it.

My catalog of songs will probably always include songs that no one will ever hear but they must be written so I can keep my inner life organized.

Therefore, I value authenticity and it's most exhilarating when expressed through music.

EXERCISE

Let's take the three questions and apply them to exercise. I mentioned it frequently in my delightful day. But is it a value?

1. Why does exercise matter to me?

Exercise matters to me because it makes me feel in charge of every aspect of me: my mind, will, emotions and inner soul, from which I create.  How I feel after I exercise has such a significant impact on my creative ability that it doesn't really matter what the exercise is, as long as I do something!

I prefer the outdoors as opposed to a gym, but that's simply because ambiance and surrounding either inspires or stifles me. I'd rather ice skate on a pond in the woods on rough ice than go to an indoor rink where the ice is smooth.  To have smooth ice outside would be the best of both worlds.

Just went ice skating here today! It was amazing.

Unfortunately, I usually have to go to a rink because we don't have ice for long in Pennsylvania, let alone in a woods. Activity trumps surrounding in this case. On a very snowy day, I'd rather walk in the snow than go to the gym, but if there's no good place to walk in the snow, I have to go to the gym.

2. What does exercise tap into?

Exercise helps me keep my emotions, mind, body and spirit connected and all facing the same direction. I'm a much happier person when all of me is running smoothly. All areas must be connected or integrated for me to be the most creative.

3. What is it about exercise that feels necessary?

My well-being.

Well-being is a good or satisfactory condition of existence; a state characterized by health, happiness, and prosperity; welfare.

I think I'd say that my underlying core value here is well-being.

BEAUTY

I'm still working on this one but it would appear that I also value beauty.  If you look through the pictures on my recent blog post in my "day of delight," it's obvious that I love beauty. It's why I love snow.  It makes the barren land white and soft. It's why I included the seasons.  I love the vivid colors of spring, the green grass and vibrant flowers.  Fall is just as inspiring when the leaves turn their splashy oranges and reds.

Now I know why it was hard for me to live in Oklahoma for two years - the change of seasons wasn't as vivd as in Pennsylvania (at least in Broken Arrow, OK.) In fact, I used to go visit a graveyard in the city to sit and enjoy the one maple tree they had planted there because of its brilliant orange and red colors.

In Florida, I loved the beach, but again, I missed the change of seasons.

Now it all makes sense to me.

1. Why does beauty matter to me?  

It affects my mood. The snow lifts my spirits in the winter.

2. What does beauty tap into?

Inspiration. Creativity. The more beautiful my surroundings, the more inspired I become. 

3. What is it about beauty that feels necessary?  

If I ever feel gray and dull in my soul, color (on the outside) represents "aliveness" to me and helps to remove the colorless mood in my soul. If the outside is dull and "lifeless," I have to work to get my mood into a positive and creative mode.

Now that I know this about myself, I just simply look for something beautiful in the dull day and my mood can change much more quickly.

The props are starting to originate on the inside of me,

 instead of coming from the outside.

Therefore, I value beauty.

AUTHENTICITY

Definition: true to one's own personality, spirit, or character:

1. Why does authenticity matter to me? 

It's familiar. I don't know how to be anything else. I can be a great "me". Pretending means I have to become something that doesn't feel natural to me. 

2. What does authenticity tap into?

Natural tendencies. Connection. Power. Freedom.

3.  What is it about authenticity that feels necessary?

I want to live boldly. Daring. Fearless. 

If I can be authentic, I don't need to pretend, which makes me powerful and free. I don't have to "work at it". 

When I'm powerful, I have the ability to do anything.

Yes - I'd say a core value is authenticity.

Back to the insurance policy example!

Remember how I said we hope we don't need the insurance policy, but we get one anyway?

I was hoping I wouldn't need to think through my life values so deeply. If I could just get a good handle on them, that should be enough, right? If I ever need them, I can simply pull them out and review them and go on.

Well, this week, after working on my "list of values," I had a conversation that made me stop and seriously look at my values. "Pull out that insurance policy NOW," I said, "and read the fine print."

It happened because someone recently told me I should color my hair....it would look better....I would appear younger. But, letting my hair go gray has been a significant decision in my life.

Why I chose gray!

When I started figure skating about two years ago, it touched something so deeply in my soul that I began to write music about it and I could feel a slow, but steady change taking place. It was so transforming that the result is a new music project coming out this year called "Brand New Me". 

While ice skating, I felt so free and different that I decided to take a really bold step: let my hair go gray. Stop coloring it. I had resisted turning 40 - even despised it. I resisted my gray hair - didn't want to look or be old. However, as the new me began to emerge, I started feeling a new level of freedom.

It was a philosophical reason first and then a frugality decision. I was getting tired of spending lots of money on hiding the gray. I tried coloring it myself years ago and it was a disaster, so that's not an option.

Fast forward to present day and my hair has beautiful silver highlights. They are my very own. They are authentic. I like them. Every now and then I cringe when I walk into a room and realize that I'm identified as old and gray, (like our staff Christmas party game where I was on the "wise and graying" team....OUCH.) However, for the most part, I've enjoyed living on the silver edge and the cringe melts into confidence.

My gray hair - at the 2015 Portraits of White concert.

I have a professional photo shoot scheduled in Nashville for March 17. I've been picking out hair styles and clothes (on pinterest) for the occasion. I have NOT been picking out hair color. I like it just the way it is.

But now someone in the media world is challenging that decision. "Media will not give you the time of day with your hair being gray," they began. "Don't go to Nashville with it like that. Everything else about you looks young and vibrant. Your frame is so small that our eyes are immediately drawn to your hair. It detracts from who you are. Our culture views gray as old and sick." (I promise, I'm not mincing words here - this is what they said). "If someone doesn't know you and sees your CD cover with gray hair," they continued, "they won't give your music a chance". 

Before this part of the conversation, they had nothing but raving things to say about my recent Portraits of White concert. They had been there to see it in action. They believed in what I am trying to do with the concert and want to help me get more exposure in the local area with other media outlets.

I welcome this help because it's a lot to do on my own and I need someone's high recommendation to get my foot in the door. It was said in love because they want to help me, so I received it in that spirit. And I value wisdom so I keep an open mind.

However, I debated with every fiber of my being and came right back with lots of philosophical reasons why they were wrong. "I VALUE AUTHENTICITY," I said. "That's one of my strengths. The churches that I go to seem to love that about me. I let people see the real me. The struggles, the victories. This new project will be all about authenticity and how I got to be a "brand new me". Part of that is my new natural hair color," I argued.

If this scenario would have happened years ago, the old Frances would have gone home devastated and undone. It would have taken me weeks to sort through my feelings and thoughts. But the new Frances fought right back....knew why I had made my decision and why I didn't want to back down. It felt good. 

I guess it's not really a brand new me. Perhaps the real Frances is just finally starting to come out.

Even in the midst of our loud debating, we laughed at our audacity to be so open and honest. Our relationship started because we hit it off so well in a radio interview that we decided to get together and become friends outside of the music business. Nice way to start a friendship.

The bigger issue for me was the message and brand I was planning on presenting with the new project. A new me. Living in freedom beyond the age of 50. (I turn 50 this year and I wanted to do it big.)

I want to encourage women to let their hair go gray (if they want to), learn to figure skate if they want to, paint a picture, take a class, go get a makeover, take a cooking class, go back to school. 

You're not TOO OLD to pursue the passion and gifting inside you - or even discover what that is - unless you want to be on the cover of Seventeen Magazine. That could be a problem. But I think you get the idea.

"Don't challenge me as a woman in my 50's with letting your hair go gray," she continued (now you know she's a she).

"Challenge me to live on the edge with your figure skating, bungee jumping, skydiving, whatever. THAT will make me want to listen - but don't use hair color as your argument for embracing 50. That does nothing for me."

Her last and final whopper of a question only added to my shock: "Do you want to make a living doing music?"

"Yes!" I said without hesitation. 

"Then you need to color your hair."

Then we laughed at our new found friendship that got real honest, real quick and put our trash in the bins at Panera Bread and walked out.

Now I have a decision to make.

I don't know what I'm going to do, yet. But I can tell you this; I'm looking at my core values a lot more seriously. I get why this matters now. Even though it's just hair color. There are way more important things than hair color for Pete's sake! But it's the principle of the thing. Authenticity matters - not hair color.

Yes, in the end, whether I stay gray or not, I think it's the WHY behind all of this that will determine my decision. If I can be authentic and color my hair - so be it. If not, I think I'll stay gray. But as she pointed out, what if the color of my hair keeps people from receiving my message? 

Does it really matter? 

What do you think I should do?

A Day of Delight

Recently, I was given an assignment to write out my life values.  Part of the assignment includes creating "a day of delight" - at least on paper.  Apparently, out of this planning emerges things that really matter to us and help us understand how we are wired and what it is we value.

It's been a soul-searching process and sometimes rather challenging, but I love doing things like this so it's been interesting.  The images below help to express what I have tried to write in longer form on paper.  Oh - and by the way, it must be a day void of "ought and should".  No obligation or boundaries.  Just pure delight.

It's been so transforming I thought I'd put it in my blog and share it with you.  I would encourage you to do the same.  Start by doing these two things:

1.  Write out what a day of delight would consist of.
2.  Locate images of it and create a book or collage.

Finding photos takes everything to another level because you begin to quickly identify things you like and don't like.

Do you like winter or summer?
Do you like floral or plaid?
Do you want the bed you take a nap in to be covered with soft blankets and pastel colors or do you want a room that is rustic with bold and bright colors?
Would you eat lunch at the beach or in a log cabin?  Alone or with a friend?
Would the car you drive be an old classic or a new sports car?
Maybe you'd rather walk.
Would it be a path in the park or in the Rockies?

I think you get the idea.  The point is to do it.

So here's the synopsis of what my day of delight would be. When you finish gazing at my day, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

If you try this exercise, I'd like to know what you experienced!

Rise with the sun at 5:00 a.m.

Head out into the snow to go ice skating on a lake that meanders through the woods.

Ice skate until 7:30 a.m.

Enjoy skating to music from the sky...a large sound system blaring across the atmosphere.

Work with a coach who would teach me to skate to the music.

Head home.
Shower.
Hair/makeup artist/image consultant gets me ready for the day.

My English butler serves me breakfast on the patio...in the sun.
Spinach and feta cheese omelette with english muffin, bacon fried crispy and fresh squeezed orange juice.
Coffee with cream and sugar.

Prayer, meditation and quiet in one of my favorite spots...outside.

Head over to my studio to begin creating music.
It's all glass so that I can enjoy the outdoors inside.

Enjoy my room where dictionary, thesaurus and all writing tools are right at my fingertips....

...and are activated simply by my voice.
Song ideas are stored for future use automatically.

Next I sit down at the grand piano and create luscious melodies for proposal in marriage to the lyrics.

While I'm writing, I watch the snowfall outside and enjoy the wildlife loitering.
(On this day of delight, the weather changes randomly and at my command.)

Of course, my cat and dog are nestled together right beside me.

Time for coffee break, with chocolate served by my English butler.
No bad calories on this delightful day.

A brisk walk in the snow would invigorate and clear my mind for more creative work.
(Not meant for physical exercise this time, just for clarity and inspiration.)

Personal songwriting coaching session and music lesson...
anything to challenge my brain and creativity following my brisk walk.

Healthy lunch by the ocean, served by my beloved butler.
I don't have to make the lunch or do the dishes.
I just sit and enjoy the view.

Time to nap...
with my cat.
His Royal Highness awaits.

Head to the local cafe to write my blog, perhaps meet a friend.
Nice to get out for a few hours.

Time for some natural soul therapy.
Work in my gardens.
Enjoy the sound of water and birds.
Pulling weeds somehow cleanses my inner soul.

Sweet tea coming right up.
Fresh brew from my garden...
by my butler, of course!

Tom and I prepare to head out on our motorcycles.
A leisurely ride to dinner.
Yes, I'm driving my own.

We arrive just in time for a very special dinner at our favorite place.

After dinner, we dance.

Amazing how easily we changed from our leathers into fine clothes.

We hop on our motorcycles and stop for ice cream at our favorite spot,
joined by our friends.

We take the long way home, through the fall foliage,
watching for deer.

When we arrive home, we sit by the fire and enjoy sharing tales of our day.

The end of this perfect day of delight finds us surrounded by those that we love.

Yes - I meant the animals who inhabit our lovely country farm...
in Franklin, Tennessee.

A Festival Of The Soul

It's Thanksgiving Day and I'm enjoying a day of rest.   Most of us are starting to gear up for the holidays and after the festivities of the day, will rush right into Black Friday.  I have friends who have already decided to put up their christmas tree.

I almost did.

I've been preparing for my Portraits of White concert for so long now that I feel like putting up a tree is too miniscule.  My insides have dug so deep into reflection that the little plastic tree I normally put up seems fake and trite. The makeover of my soul through this process seems to call for a complete makeover of my decorations too....but that won't be happening. I wouldn't even know how to express my soul in the way of ornaments and trees.

My decorations will show up in every note, lyric and thought presented on the night of December 12. It will be a festivity of the soul guised in the garb of music.

I've been practicing for months, but mistakes never disappear it seems. They are like little gophers that pop up out of their hole at the most unexpected times. As soon as I get one conquered, another appears. My mode of retaliation is to "hammer down" - a pun that fits the grand piano well.

It always puzzles me how a person can work so hard and long on something and still have it go awry. Like a skater who's jumped perfectly thousands of times but falls during a competition.

I experienced that recently at one of my concerts. In the midst of a piece I've played countless times, I completely lost my way.  The only payoff in practicing, in that moment, was that I pulled myself together and kept going.  The ability to keep going was my only success in that moment. Or at least it felt like it.

I walked away feeling like a complete failure. One hour of music - lyrics remembered and all, but all I could think about was the 5 seconds of faltering.

I'm reading a book right now that a singer friend recommended.  I knew the instant she told me about it that I needed to read it...and SOON.  It arrived last week. Today I'm reading it and I feel like I've visited a doctor who has been able to prescribe medicine that will relieve my pain and I thought you might like it too.

It doesn't matter if you are a musician or not - the tendency to remember the ONE mistake you made over any successes you had is common to all of us.  The writer tells of a cello student she had who was quick to point out his own mistakes but never mentioned when he did well. He considered any good performance an "accident".

She encouraged him to speak his successes out loud, not just his mistakes.   He went on to tell his teacher, "I guess I feel that way about a lot of stuff in my life. I sort of shrug off all my successes but get preoccupied with possible failures. Pretty dumb, isn't it?"

I stopped right at that paragraph and put my book down. I reflected on the recent "failure" where I lost my way in a song. All I could remember from that night was the 5 seconds of disarray. I gave about an hour concert and everything else went very well.  In fact, there were moments when I felt like I was giving some of the best delivery ever.  But I don't remember those moments now...or at least I didn't until I read of another human being's struggle to remember the successes.

I'm thankful for this reminder to focus in on the good things. The successes, the opportunities, the blessings we have been given. I suppose that's what this day is really all about.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Bird Song.

My father loved birds.  

I have grown to love them too. 

They make me feel at peace. 

I awaken early in the morning to their songs.

I listen to them sing when I go for walks.

I talk to them.

They chatter.

They are a lesson in how much God cares for me.

"There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, 

more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. 

Look at the birds

free and unfettered

not tied down to a job description 

careless in the care of God

and you count far more to him than birds."  

Matthew 6:26 The Message.

Listen and watch here. Become unfettered and free.

Never By Accident

I watched her fingers tremble as she pressed the strings against the wood, but they weren't trembling from nerves.  They were adding the rich vibrato that makes the cello sing.  Combined with her bow techniques, her poise and confidence, the little black notes on the page jumped off and brought my weary soul back to life.  Even the 'rests' were part of the moments.

I asked her if I could sit beside her and watch her play.  Her music has always touched me deep down in my soul and often makes me emotional.  When we play together, it becomes even more powerful.

How can inanimate objects like wood strung with catgut melt a person's heart? Like water that changes the shape of a hard rock over years of time.  Only my heart melts within just a few measures. A few seconds.

As I sat and beheld this amazing player on her well-worn instrument, I got new inspiration. The page she was playing from was written with piano and choir in mind.  It wasn't just for cello. Without the other members of the music performance, it would have sounded incomplete, albeit beautiful.  But it was written to go with other parts.

One page. That's all she had.  She couldn't see anything else. No choir music, no piano accompaniment.  Just her part. She had to trust that what she had would fit into the whole.

You might feel as if you are a tuba in a spa, but believe me, there is a spot for the tuba.  It adds incredible rich bass tones in the context of the whole. The gifts you have, the special wiring you came with, have a purpose and a place.

If everyone plays their individual part to the best of their ability, when it all comes together it will sound amazing, but you have to trust the person who wrote the arrangement.  You have to trust that he knew what all the other players would be doing and how your part fits in context.

Focus. Trust.  Faith.

I first wrote the piano piece called "Never By Accident" from a few simple notes. It happened by accident. But my producer wanted to add other players to what I originally thought would be a solo piano piece.  I couldn't quite catch his vision until the piece was completed.

I changed the original title from "By Accident" to the new name: "Never By Accident".  It was too beautiful to be an accident and it was now going on my CD.

You were not an accident.  You, like the piano in this song, are meant to be part of a bigger piece.

You are beautiful.  Don't shy away from letting yourself become part of something larger than you.

You weren't meant to play alone.

You were never an accident.

This Is My Father's World

"A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Do you really want that prayer answered?

Frances at her mother's piano.

I did a concert recently where I incorporated an arrangement on the piano that I probably haven't played since high school.  It's the old song "My Tribute" by Andrae Crouch.  It was Dino Kartsinokis' arrangement and has always been one of my favorites.  It pretty much uses every key on the keyboard - maybe that's why I like it. I got the feeling people really enjoyed it.  I think it was partly due to the fact that I dedicated it to my mother who passed away in September of 2014.  In fact, it was a poignant moment for me when I got a standing ovation and I could feel the tears wanting to rush out of my heart into my eyes.  It was a special moment.

You see, my mother had always prayed for a piano player.  Apparently, she longed to have live music in the house and she was especially fond of piano music.  I learned to play on the piano she purchased for herself as a young woman.  I still have that piano and now that she's gone, I don't want to part with it.

I was the final child of five and I think by the time I came along, life was so busy that it must not have crossed her mind to have me take piano lessons like the other children did.  In fact, between 1966-1976, she lost 2 sons and both of her parents.  In that same decade, she got spinal meningitis and that set her health on a course of many tough years.  She had to have a shunt put in her head and every time that didn't work, she couldn't function.

One day while staying at an Aunt's house because my mother was ill, my Aunt overheard me playing the piano (by ear) and called my mother.  "Bertha, you must have Frances take piano lessons - I think she has a gift".  Fortunately, my mother took her advice and started me on piano lessons.  I was in sixth grade.  I loved it.  I practiced by the hour...always working toward perfection.

This week as I was reflecting, I realized something.  My mother prayed for years and finally got an answer to her prayer.  But that meant some sacrifice on her part.  She had to pay for my lessons, take me there every week, sit out in the car and wait while I had my lesson and allow me time to practice. I remember many times later in life she would tell me that she felt it was her place to cook for the family and therefore, she would do most of the cooking and let me go practice.

To this day I'd rather practice than cook, clean, read or do anything else (....well...except maybe ride my motorcycle).

She gave up a lot for many years (and more) to see this through.  When I begged to do a recital and invite my friends - she made sure we had a nice reception with special foods and beautiful flowers to grace the table.  That was her contribution.

Not only do I believe she prayed my gift into existence, but I believe she gave her prayers "feet" when she was willing to do everything it took to make sure she had a piano player.

It makes me wonder about some of the things I pray for.  How might it change my life if I received the answers I'm hoping for?  Am I willing to sacrifice things to see those answers happen?

This was the last time I played for her.

Fear: The Dream Monster (and how to get rid of it)

"Portraits of White" Begins

At 7:00 p.m. on December 6, 2014 I stepped out onto the stage with complete peace and confidence.  I was in my sweet spot and my whole being felt it.

Conductor, Ed Kee, and I run through last minute details before the concert.

At 4:00 p.m. on December 6, 2014, I was sitting in the bathroom with a serious case of diarrhea.  I rarely get nervous before a concert, but this was not a normal concert.  This was the birth of a dream I had been carrying for years.  I was suddenly struck with paralyzing fear.  I had 2 hours worth of lyrics, music notes and stories to remember and though I had been preparing for this for over a year, I wondered if my brain and physical body would hold up now that the moment had come.

I have already heard from a few people who have been encouraged to step out and pursue their own 'inklings' (or fight to keep them in some cases) as a result of my own story Saturday night.  I thought it might be helpful for you to know that pursuing what's in your heart will usually mean fighting to the very end.  Even up until the moment you step out on to the stage.

I fought my worst battles with fear when I first started dreaming this dream and right before I finished the dream.  Don't get me wrong, there were certainly moments of doubt and fear all along the way, but the worst came a week before the concert.  

Here's some of the thoughts I had to fight:

• You shouldn't be so honest in your stories - people will think you are weird - don't tell the truth. 
•  No one else struggles like you do. Keep it to yourself. Play it safe.          
• You can't do this.  It's going to bomb.                   
• You've taken on something that is too big for you. 
• What were you thinking?
• It'll be just your luck that a big snow storm will come and ruin it all.  You've been set up and it's all going to fail.

A friend kept checking in on me all week and when I began to tell her of my terrible battles with fear (especially in the night time) she asked me to name some of my fears so she could pray specifically for me.  Even before I told her anything, she had been sending me e-mails and notes in the mail speaking truth to me and encouraging me.  I don't know if I could have made it through without her prayers and words of truth.

It became very apparent to me that "Portraits of White" was not just another concert just by the sheer magnitude of the monster that started to raise its ugly head at the last moment.  It's as if it took one last swing at me to try and make me run the other way. I'm so glad I didn't run.  

The best way to slay the 'dream monster' is to keep going.....right smack toward it.  You might want to gather a few friends along the way to help you.  When you really start pressing in to becoming who you were created to be the battle will get FIERCE at times.  Don't give up.  Don't back down.  Rally your friends. Pray like crazy and hang on.

When you finally step into your 'sweet spot' it will feel absolutely amazing and worth every battle. The best part is, you will take others along with you and soon a big army will arise.  An army of people wanting to step out and do bigger things.  Greater things.  Things that could potentially change the world.

As I said in my concert:  "I would rather die trying to thrive, than live having just survived".  If you live this way, you will surely encounter the dream monster.  But you'll never feel more alive when the battle is over.

A nice way to end an amazing evening.  My long time husband and supporter surprises me on stage.

A Dream Coming True

If you have been following my blog, you already know that I have been planning to do a big Christmas concert this year.  The time is fast approaching and this week I sent out a press release to the local newspapers to announce the show.  I thought I would include this release as one of my blog entries.  It tells the story so well.

Whether December heralds a joyous or not-so-joyous holiday season, Frances Drost, singer, songwriter, and storyteller, invites you to join her and guest conductor, Ed Kee, to a one-night only concert, December 6.  Portraits of White: The doors open at 6:00 and the show starts at 7:00 pm, at the Rose Lehrman Arts Center, HACC Harrisburg’s Area Community College, One HACC Drive, Harrisburg, PA.

Frances writes mostly at the piano, with orchestration added later, to create scenes that are rich in story.  Take depression and loneliness, for instance, tough emotions especially during the “happiest time of the year” and Frances weaves story and music together, taking you with her on a journey back to the heart of Christmas. 

“There was a Christmas not too long ago when I found myself disliking almost everything about this holiday. I think there is something to be gained by looking at the conflicting emotions we feel.  What I do is give permission (to the people that need it) to stand up and say “I am not alone!”

“Behind the songs there are stories, which you don’t get on the CD, but I have seen how people connect to my stories so I expand on them in the concert.”

Based on the music of Portraits of White, her seventh CD project, released in December 2013, this concert is sure to delight the senses, with a live orchestra and multi-media production. The title track is music set to images onscreen featuring the beauty of snowy landscapes.

Frances’s music will warm and encourage you to take another look at your own relationship with Christmas.

Frances has been connecting with audiences both locally and across the U.S., for over a decade. Her commitment to traveling from her home in Newville PA to Nashville TN regularly to build her career has connected her to musicians that have helped shape the course of her life and music.  

Ed Kee, from Franklin, Tennessee, is one of those musicians. Frances is delighted that Ed accepted her invitation to be guest conductor for the Dec 6^th concert. Ed has been a highly visible creative force on the Nashville music scene for over 30 years, where his music career finds him in such roles as studio singer, arranger, orchestrator, producer, record label executive and music publisher.  Frances and Ed have joined their professional skill and talents over the last year to bring about this one-night musical journey on December 6th.

Frances has held the dream of a concert like this for a long time, — in fact, since childhood.Portraits of White, the title track, sparkles with Frances’ childlike delight of a new snowfall. She vividly remembers the birth of this song in 2000:  driving through snow blowing like angel-hair across the road, to record Big Blue Sky, her very first CD project in 2000 in Chambersburg, PA. 

It has taken 14 years for Portraits of White, the song, to find its way to its own CD project and finally now, to a bigger stage and live orchestra - it is a dream come true for the little girl who loved snow, ice skating on her farm pond to music and putting on ‘shows’.  After all, there was a time when she loved the holidays, so it’s not all sad and she has found a way to laugh at herself and bring others with her in the laughter.

Frances was the winner of the Momentum Award for “Female Artist Of The Year” and was also nominated for “Inspirational Artist Of The Year” at the 2009 Momentum Awards ceremony in Nashville.

So get your tickets now (there aren't many left) - this is a one-night event that promises to be not just a concert, but an experience that Frances believes will impact how you feel about the holiday season.

Visit http://www.francesdrost.com/events to get your tickets and more information about Portraits of White.