Practice Makes You...Prepared For Mistakes.

I've been working on my own piano arrangement of "O Holy Night" since last spring—which simply means I'm inventing my own version of it. There are plenty of great renditions of the song, but I want something that's my own.  

If you're not musical, it's kind of like having your mom bake your favorite birthday cake from scratch. It has a special quality about it. I'm VERY excited (and almost ready) to share my arrangement with the Portraits of White audience. I've added a special ingredient into the mix, but I can't give that away—it's a surprise.

There are so many things about a song that need to be "practiced"; soft, loud, speed, structure, fingering...you get the idea. That's in addition to deciding the overall "feel" of the piece within each section of the song. Like you, I've probably heard this a thousand times: "Practice Makes Perfect." 

I disagree.

In my opinion, you can practice the wrong thing over and over. I DO think practice can help you prepare for imperfection. But I can only speak for myself.

For instance, in spite of all my hours and hours of practice, things can go awry. 

• fingers slip off the keys 
• feet slide off the pedals
• hands get caught under the lip of a piano key
• the mic stand (if I'm singing) swings around and hits me in the mouth (yep—that's really happened)
• my nose begins to run

Anyone have a handkerchief?
Portraits of White 2018

After years of practicing so I could be "perfect" and learning that it just isn't possible, my focus has changed from getting everything "right" to learning how to respond when things go wrong. And THAT has changed so much for me as a performer. 

If you only knew how hard I work to make sure nothing goes wrong... Is there some kind of reward for THAT? Probably not, but I can tell you this, I have had more fun performing in the past decade than any other time in my life because of shifting my focus from perfection to peace, poise...and humor. Just have fun with it!

So last year, when I had a chance to go up on stage with The Piano Guys and play the piano with them at one of their concerts, I actually thought I might be able to do it. Not because I'd be perfect, but because I knew that if I wasn't perfect, we could create a moment out of it.

Here's how it went...

A cellist and I went to see this phenomenal duo. I was a curious to see if a pianist and cellist could keep my attention for two hours. They exceeded my expectations. 

During their concert, they asked if there were any piano players in the audience. They wanted a pianist from the audience to come up on stage and play a song with them and specified that you had to be a jazz pianist who had played in a jazz band. I'm not a jazz pianist and I've never played in a jazz band so I didn't raise my hand. Neither did anyone else. 

I was sitting there with my legs and feet shaking, thinking to myself—MAN...I WANT to go up there and take this opportunity but I'm not a jazz pianist and I've never played in a jazz band, though I can play by ear and improvise. I  feel like jazz is a whole different world and they were making it clear that you needed to have experience in that world.

As if she knew what I was thinking, my cellist friend leaned over and said, "YOU could do that!!" She's been on stage with me since the beginning of Portraits of White and knows I'm not a jazz pianist, but I was honored that she believed in me. That's all I needed...a word of affirmation. I decided that if no one stepped up, I would. 

At the prospect of "making something up on the fly" with The Piano Guys, I now felt like my whole body was an earthquake. But I was determined to take a chance and I quickly decided it would be worth the experience just to play with them. I was willing to make a fool of myself (if that happened) because I've learned that these kinds of moments are usually the ones people remember the most, even if I wish it weren't so.

As I was processing all this (in milliseconds), a young man raised his hand and was called to the stage. He was a jazz pianist for sure and he almost stole the show.

They were having a blast on stage and I was having an epiphany in my seat. I realized that though it does take hours of practice to develop proficiency at anything, (so yes, you MUST put in the practice time), the sooner you begin to practice being okay with imperfection, the sooner you will experience (and radiate) absolute delight, even when things don't go "perfectly".

I left that concert feeling so grateful for all the years of "mishaps" on the stage. They've led me to a place where I was willing to jump up on stage and do something fun, even if I failed. 

The inner work to reach this freedom takes as much practice as the outer work of playing the piano.

Yep....I say practice makes you....prepared for mistakes.

P.S. If you've never heard of The Piano Guys, visit their website and watch their videos or better yet, support live music, buy a ticket and go see them.

Killing Anxiety Before it Kills You (Part 4)

My fingers were flying across the black and white keys at top speed when I noticed the clicking sound that my fingernails make when they need trimmed.

Bummer. I meant to trim them before my day of practicing began. It's very hard to play difficult music when your nails are the slightest bit too long.

Here's how my thought process continued......(while I kept on playing)

..must trim my nails at lunch..
..I look forward to the day when I can have very long, pretty, painted fingernails...
..remember Florence Littauer and the beautiful long nails she had? I want mine to be like hers...
..and oh yes, how nice of that gentleman at my concert yesterday who came up to me afterward to tell me that because of my song about the "Personalities" he was now going to take that class he originally didn't want to take.....he was now inspired.....good...
...I wonder what Florence is up to these days...
...I'm hungry...
..how fun it is to do concerts when people actually receive something specific from you that will add value to their lives and relationships...
...OOPS.......I shouldn't have let my mind wander so.....
...now I'm totally lost in the song and have no idea where I am...

It happens so predictably now, that part of my practicing for Portraits of White goes way beyond learning the music and executing it well. It also involves making my brain stay focused on only one thought: what's the next note I need to play?

This feels like appropriate advice for more than just music rehearsal!

The scripture seems to give two contradictory statements about our thoughts:

1) Take no thought for tomorrow......
2) Take every thought captive.....

So which is it?  Don't take on any thoughts or take the ones you have captive and make them obedient to what they should be dwelling on?

It's both!!!

So here's the next thing I know about anxiety.  

It often begins with our thoughts. If we can "take no thought", we are much better off.

Kind of like not picking up the chocolate bar off the shelf in the store and putting it into our grocery cart. But the problem is, we are human and we do take thoughts and store them in our "cart". Then we usually have to pay for them later.

This has nothing to do with the blog.....
I saw this picture while looking for an appropriate photo of a grocery cart,
and was distracted by this picture.
Wouldn't it be the DREAM job!!!
To work on streets of chocolate?
...well...maybe it DOES have something to do with the blog....

Therefore, the next thing to do if you have trouble with "taking thoughts", is to learn how to "take them captive".

I remember when I was a little girl visiting my older cowboy cousin in Oklahoma. He showed me how he could ride his horse and lasso a steer with his rope (I wonder now if he was just showing off.) At the time, he really impressed this curious young girl. I mean, I came from a farm, but we didn't do THAT with our calves.

Once he caught it, he pulled the rope tight. The steer was now his captive.

When we have negative thoughts, we have to 'lean into our horse' a little bit and catch the thought by the horns and wrestle it to the ground....at least, that's how I view the practice of taking a thought captive. Could be my rural upbringing showing through.

What are you thinking about these days? Could your anxiety be related to your thought life? I know it's definitely true in my life.

"What am I going to do?"

"What if this bill doesn't get paid?"

"What if I can't find work?"

"Who is going to be President?"

These questions usually lead to fear, which inevitably leads to worry and anxiety.

You might not be a musician who has to learn to focus her brain so that her fingers remember where to go next, but we can all learn how to control our thoughts and focus on where they should go next.

There's another verse that suggests things we should think on...good things - things that are lovely, true, honest and pure.

So here are my "thoughts" for the week on killing anxiety.

Start by thinking about your thoughts (I know, bad pun).

Be choosy about which thoughts you "take".

If you fail and "take" the negative ones, then proceed to step 2 and take them captive so they can't do more damage.

Drag the bad thoughts out and replace them with good, true, lovely and hopeful thoughts.

Now....back to focused practicing...and yes, I remembered to trim my nails at lunch.

Do you really want that prayer answered?

Frances at her mother's piano.

I did a concert recently where I incorporated an arrangement on the piano that I probably haven't played since high school.  It's the old song "My Tribute" by Andrae Crouch.  It was Dino Kartsinokis' arrangement and has always been one of my favorites.  It pretty much uses every key on the keyboard - maybe that's why I like it. I got the feeling people really enjoyed it.  I think it was partly due to the fact that I dedicated it to my mother who passed away in September of 2014.  In fact, it was a poignant moment for me when I got a standing ovation and I could feel the tears wanting to rush out of my heart into my eyes.  It was a special moment.

You see, my mother had always prayed for a piano player.  Apparently, she longed to have live music in the house and she was especially fond of piano music.  I learned to play on the piano she purchased for herself as a young woman.  I still have that piano and now that she's gone, I don't want to part with it.

I was the final child of five and I think by the time I came along, life was so busy that it must not have crossed her mind to have me take piano lessons like the other children did.  In fact, between 1966-1976, she lost 2 sons and both of her parents.  In that same decade, she got spinal meningitis and that set her health on a course of many tough years.  She had to have a shunt put in her head and every time that didn't work, she couldn't function.

One day while staying at an Aunt's house because my mother was ill, my Aunt overheard me playing the piano (by ear) and called my mother.  "Bertha, you must have Frances take piano lessons - I think she has a gift".  Fortunately, my mother took her advice and started me on piano lessons.  I was in sixth grade.  I loved it.  I practiced by the hour...always working toward perfection.

This week as I was reflecting, I realized something.  My mother prayed for years and finally got an answer to her prayer.  But that meant some sacrifice on her part.  She had to pay for my lessons, take me there every week, sit out in the car and wait while I had my lesson and allow me time to practice. I remember many times later in life she would tell me that she felt it was her place to cook for the family and therefore, she would do most of the cooking and let me go practice.

To this day I'd rather practice than cook, clean, read or do anything else (....well...except maybe ride my motorcycle).

She gave up a lot for many years (and more) to see this through.  When I begged to do a recital and invite my friends - she made sure we had a nice reception with special foods and beautiful flowers to grace the table.  That was her contribution.

Not only do I believe she prayed my gift into existence, but I believe she gave her prayers "feet" when she was willing to do everything it took to make sure she had a piano player.

It makes me wonder about some of the things I pray for.  How might it change my life if I received the answers I'm hoping for?  Am I willing to sacrifice things to see those answers happen?

This was the last time I played for her.

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 46 Practice!!!

It all comes down to practice.

I have been so caught up in the details of planning, charting and blogging.  But at some point, I have to make time to practice.  It can't be right before the recording or the show.  It must come months ahead of time.

There is no substitute for this major part in the story.

So tonight, after a full day at the church, fixing supper tonight and answering e-mails, I sat down to PRACTICE.