The Little Girl In Me

Skating on our farm pond as a little girl.

A few years ago, I sat in the counselor's office with tears that freely flowed down my face no matter how hard I tried to hold them back.  I was a mess and was desperate for any help she could give me.

"What kinds of things did you do for fun when you were a little girl?" she asked.

Music was certainly something that filled my life with joy when I was little.  But I have given my life to music as a profession and it can be difficult to go back to something just as a hobby once you've spent years honing the skill to share with audiences.  She encouraged me to just sit and play the piano for fun.

But there was something else I loved to do as a young girl.  I don't even remember how or when I started.

I loved to ice skate.

Growing up....

We had a pond on our farm and I would spend hours out there all by myself skating.  I'd take my tape player out and play music and make up dances on the ice.  It was a place where I could freely express myself to music.  The skates made it easy to twirl and spread my arms like eagles to fly.

It has been years since I have been able to skate.  We don't have a pond where we live now and though the neighbor invited me to skate on his pond, the Pennsylvania winters have not been cold enough long enough to freeze the water.  I set it aside and focused on music and I've enjoyed creating music.

She encouraged me to tap into that little girl again and go ice skating.  I did one day.  I felt so clumsy at first, but something ignited in me and a desire to skate returned.  But we don't live real close to a rink and the skates I have are not very good.  (I took them to a local shop and had them sharpened.  They sharpened them alright.  Cut the concave blade right off. Made it really easy to spin....right out of control).  Winter passed and I forgot about skating.  If I did think about it, I shrugged it off.  Impossible.

Dreams or Cold Eeze?

Two weeks ago I was unable to sleep one night and began pondering some creative ideas for my show. I'm not sure how it all transpired, maybe it was the Cold Eeze I was taking for my scratchy throat, but somewhere in the middle of the night I got an idea.  I started researching where to buy professional skates on-line.  After reading up on buying skates and finding places to purchase a good pair, I decided that I would take the money someone gave me at Christmas and invest in a new pair of skates.

I prayed as I lay there on my couch that night and asked God to lead me to the right people who could coach me and help me pursue my idea, if possible.  If this idea was from Him, I would need His help.

I discovered there was a free skating lesson at a local rink on the next Saturday afternoon so I decided I would go and get my first lesson.  Something I've never experienced.  I asked the gentleman who was renting skates where I could buy a pro pair.  Turns out he has a shop where you can be fitted for skates.  "Wonderful" I said.

My first lesson

When I went to join the group of mostly children who had shown up for the free lesson, it was the same man who was leading the class.  After giving some instruction and watching us skate, he commented that it looked like I had skated before.  "I've never had a lesson before and I figured it wouldn't hurt to learn to do it right", I replied.

When we finished the lesson, I asked when I could go to his shop and be fitted for a new pair of skates.  "Three o'clock this afternoon is open" he said.  So at 3:00 I arrived at his shop in Harrisburg, PA ready to buy my first pair of good skates.

As I sat in his shop and learned more about skating and all the opportunities there are, I went ahead and shared the idea I had.  He was very encouraging.  When I asked about hiring a private coach, he advised me to come and skate for 2 weeks and then talk about a coach.  The best hours when I could go would have to be the morning hours....6:00 - 9:00 a.m.  He gave me his card and I left.  Turns out his name is Christian Newberry and he is the skating director at the rink.

My new skates.

4:00 a.m.?  I must be nuts?!?!

Since the rink where you can skate (with other serious skaters) is 45 minutes away, I realized that I had to either give up my morning devotional time and put it at a different time of the day (which never seems to work out real well for me) or I could get up earlier and spend that time before I go to the rink. Since I wake up at 4:00 a.m. so many mornings, I decided that I could get up then, have my quiet time and head to the rink.

It has been so invigorating I can't even begin to describe what takes place on the inside of me.

I have always tried to pay attention to the little voice inside me when it begins to whisper desires.  It takes years sometimes, but I have learned that if the desire doesn't go away, there is usually something to it and you should pay attention to it. After all, the scripture says "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."  As we keep our hearts turned toward Him, I believe He places desires in there and He is capable of bringing them to pass if we diligently seek Him.

I don't know exactly where this will lead but I have a specific goal in mind.  My first set of goals?....

1)  Buy a pair of skates
2)  Learn more about hiring a coach
3)  Be faithful for 2 weeks as Christian suggested

As of today, I have completed those goals.  So I asked Christian yesterday morning if he thought I could pursue my next goal.  "Most adult skaters don't have the balance or speed to do this, but I have been watching you and you have both.  I think you can", he said.  "Your main problem is that you do everything on two feet".  Ah....YEAH!  I laughed.  "I'm still getting used to just skating again", I replied.  (2 hands, 2 ears, 2 eyes, a nose with 2 holes and 2 FEET - makes sense to me.)

I am usually one of the first ones there at the rink every week day which gives me time to skate all alone before the pros come and spin and jump around me.  I watch them with the eye of a hawk.  I learn quickly by watching what they do.  (I can tell you this, the jumps they do on TV sound much louder in real life).  Wow - the force of their landing on the ice is amazing.  I could either let it scare me, discourage me or inspire me.  I have chosen to be inspired by them and it fills my spirit with new vitality and joy.   It is now my new exercise routine.

I am on a new path and it feels so good.  The little girl in me has come to life.  It's as if I have completed Act I and am now getting ready for Act II.  I can't wait to see how this unfolds.  I believe that it will all somehow weave together eventually.

Oh and by the way - turns out the guy who rented me the skates, taught the lesson, sold me the skates, is in charge of the rink where I skate, also coaches many of the skaters.

He is now my personal coach.  He is also Britain's National Champion from 1989.  Guess what his wife is?  A music teacher.  How cool is that?

This is how we pursue the things of our soul.  (thank you Tom for giving me freedom to do this!)

One step at a time.  One goal at a time.  One day at a time.

Up Against A Wall

Any time you step out to do something big, it can be overwhelming.  In fact, you can start to feel as if you are up against a wall and it is closing in on you.

As I think about what this year holds for my music career, I know that one thing I want to accomplish is to follow through on my dream to do a professional christmas show.  So I have come up with a plan and it includes a wall that will help me, not close in on me.

One thing that causes stress in pursuing our dreams is all the details involved and pondering how we will ever accomplish them.  My solution?  I took down everything on one of my studio walls and made up index cards with the titles of all the categories I can think of involved in doing a show.  And it keeps growing.  But that's ok.  Once it is on the wall, it is off my mind.  That frees my mind for more creative thinking.

When something else pops in my head, I make a note and post it on the wall.  I used lined cards so I can make organized notes under each category.  They can be easily moved around in order of importance.  I will add due dates and other information on other colored cards as necessary.

Here are the categories I have so far:

• mission statement
• creating the experience
• date
• venue
• money/budget
• songs
• marketing
• show team
• director of first impressions
• hospitality
• prayer team
• music director
• stage manager
• musicians/singers
• audio/visual
• lighting
• wardrobe
• ticket sales
• seating
• props
• instruments
• concessions
• merch table
• screen
• ushers
• parking lot attendants

As you can see, this is no small undertaking.  But I love it and I can't wait to see it all come to pass.

Don't stress about your dreams.  Put them up against the wall before they put you up against a wall.

Living On The Edge

It's 4:00 a.m. and my alarm goes off.  I don't usually need the alarm because for the past 3 years or so, I've been waking up naturally at this time and I have hated it.   But now I have embraced my body's time clock and I am putting it to use.

I find my way to the kitchen and make a pot of tea.  Some for my thermos and some for my mug which I will enjoy on the couch as I sit by my little Christmas tree and spend 10 or 15 minutes in quietness. After that, I pray, meditate on scriptures and do some journalling.  My cat, Missy, is always by my side.

Then, I get dressed in my athletic clothes and I leave the house at 5:15 a.m. and head to Harrisburg to the local ice skating rink where I skate from 6:00 to 7:45 or later, depending on what my day holds.  It's a 45 minute drive (if the traffic is good) and I use that time to pray.  I pray about needs I am aware of in people's lives and I pray over my dreams for a Christmas show and the music journey I have chosen and whatever else God leads me to pray for.

It's a brand new year.  I have a new CD, a new website and a new face to this blog to match my website.  With all that happening, I think it's a great time to express my vision for the new year and how I see this blog taking on a more defined personality.

After talking with a couple of readers and pondering this evolution, it is apparent to me that people have enjoyed the transparent sharing of this musical journey.  They too have felt inspired to tackle something big in their life one bite at a time.  I'm not going to keep up the Day # whatever theme of the elephant diet (my producer will be happy) but I am going to keep blogging (he'll be even happier).

After a year of blogging and not really knowing how it would go, I think I have started to find my voice.

The purpose of this blog, this year, will be to inspire.  I think that's what was happening last year, but I didn't realize it until people began to give me feedback.

I want to inspire you to reach for things you never thought possible.  You already know that you can do it one bite at a time.  Apply it to every area of your life.

Plans for a 2014 christmas show are already in the works, but there is something else evolving here that I want to share with you. But before I do, I have a question for you.  What is something you have always wanted to pursue but never have for a long list of reasons?  I'd love for you to leave a comment!

I have begun living on the edge in a whole new way.  For me, it is figure skating.

....and with that, I begin a new page to this blog.

Warmth that could melt the North Pole.

"Angel of Wishes" gift from Lisa and Ellen.

Today I was invited to have lunch at the home of a wonderful friend.

The temperatures outside were frigid but what took place at her table gave off enough warmth that I'm sure people at the North Pole could feel the effects.

A precious gift awaited me along with a beautiful poem to celebrate the release of the new CD.

I share it with you.

Bit by bite, blog by blog, day by day a masterpiece

Formed from something very small, but every day would increase

A beautiful thing did unfold, a wondrous sight to behold

But that's not all you had to share, a piece of wisdom was found there

Self-doubt, you said, and fear too, would be a certain enemy

Lack of confidence I'm sure tried to take your bravery

But none of these could set sail, this is what did prevail:

Confidence in what you do and clarity would see you through

What songs of joy! What miracles! In black and white it was told

The message in the heart of Christmas is worth more than precious gold

Concerts will be set in place, more journeys you will have to face

But overall its message true will work in hearts all thanks to you

By Ellen Diehl  

Lisa and Ellen will never know how meaningful it was to have someone pause in the middle of a cold January day and celebrate the completion of my elephant diet and the release of "Portraits of White".

All I can say is, thank you.

"What I've Learned From The Elephant Diet" Day # 155

Check out this episode!

"Performing Joy To The World at my first
Portraits of White concert."

It is time to retire the elephant diet blog.  The CDs have arrived and are selling.  I'm giving my 3rd Portraits Of White concert this coming Sunday and starting to think about the show next year.

To celebrate this completion, I decided to do a podcast episode that shares with you 5 things I've learned from this journey that I think will be good for you to know as you set out to accomplish goals and dreams that you have!  I'll highlight them here:

1.)  Doing one thing every day toward your goal goes a long way.  In fact, it causes you to reach your goal!  One e-mail, one phone call, one list of things you need to do - it all pays off!

2.)  There will be setbacks along the way!  Count on it.  (I share some of mine in the podcast).

3.)  You will have marathon days.  These are days you feel like you just can't keep going.  You've come too far to turn back and yet you are too tired to keep going.  Hang in there!

4.)  The transformation that takes place in your psyche is amazing and worth the journey.

Self-doubt
Fear
Joy
Confidence
Clarity
Lack of Confidence

These all shape you into a stronger person.

5.)  Others will be inspired by your perseverance.

When my new site is completed, it will be in a new blog format and will be much easier for interaction with my fans.  I'll let you know when it's finished and ready to go.

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 154 A Tasty Bite

The "Portraits Of White" CDs are scheduled to arrive today.  

Not sure which bite is the most tasty.  

The first one or the last one?

Just for nostalgia sake, I've copied and pasted the very first entry of my elephant diet blog 

from Dec. 7, 2012 below.

I've always heard that if you want to eat an elephant, it's best if you eat it one bite at a time.

There are two elephants I'd like to eat these days:

1) getting better and more consistent about blogging

2) producing a Christmas CD

I think the best way I can do both, is to combine the two. 

So here I go!

I am going to blog about the journey of what it's like to do a CD project and let you in on the process: the decisions and hard work that go into something of this magnitude.

This will be my 7th CD project. I've also recorded 2 singles and 1 professional music video. They are all big elephants, but I've eaten them all and without having to go into debt to do it.

Welcome to the journey of making a CD. Hopefully as you read this, you will get inspired to eat your own elephant - one bite at a time.

(I have no idea what the calorie count is when eating an elephant).

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 153 Learning Curve Or Cliff?

They speak of 'learning curves'.  I have many of them.  At least when you are on a 'curve' there is hope that things will straighten out eventually.

The thing about a 'learning cliff' is that you fall over the edge into nothingness.  You have no idea where you will land.

I feel like I've been on the edge of a cliff and yesterday I fell off.

I've been working furiously at finding snow scenes for my upcoming Christmas concerts.  The first one is on Dec. 15.  After trying about 11 different sources, I found a photographer with great snow scenes and she is letting me use them for free.  I'm putting together a media presentation that will go with the song "Portraits of White".  I want people to 'see' the portraits of white that I see in my mind (and sometimes in my country).

I decided to not give up.  But after much frustration, I realized that I must find someone who can help me figure out how to make sure my snow images are as beautiful on the big screen as they are on my computer.  That's another story and a very tricky process, I'm finding, when you're not a photographer or a geek.

I finally went over the edge yesterday and begged someone to help me.  I think I found someone.  They will come to my studio next Tuesday and help me go through the process.  Every time I try to export the movie to another file type, the photos get grainy or too big or .....well, you get the idea.

In the meantime, I'm excited to announce that the song "Miracles" has been selected by a website that I'm part of as a contestant in an indiesong contest.  If you don't mind, I'd love to have your 5 star vote for this new song.  It will help move it up the charts and give me more of a chance to win some fabulous prizes that would help my career.  Just click on the 'vote here' button and look for "Miracles".  Click on the stars to rate it once you are on the page.

Thank you!  Vote here.

P.S.  You can vote once a day and tell your friends many times a day.