Are Your Privacy Settings Safe?

None of us like the idea of our lives being available for the public to see.  We like our privacy.  I meet many people who still don't want to participate in Facebook because of the fear they have of their privacy being violated.  

A close neighbor was robbed while she was out on her daily walk...right in prime daylight. How did they know her schedule? I found this very unsettling!

There is a distinct difference between someone knowing everything about you without your permission and slowly lifting the veil of your life in front of a friend, allowing them to peer into the depths of your heart.  

In Psalm 139, David opens a conversation with God by saying "O Eternal One, You have explored my heart and know exactly who I am; You even know the small details like when I take a seat and when I stand up again.  Even when I am far away, You know what I’m thinking."

Part way through this acknowledgement that God knows exactly who he is, he continues....

"You see all things; nothing about me was hidden from You as I took shape in secret, carefully crafted in the heart of the earth before I was born from its womb."

But right near the end of the chapter, he invites God to know him.

"Explore me, O God, and know the real me. Dig deeply and discover who I am. Put me to the test and watch how I handle the strain. Examine me to see if there is an evil bone in me, and guide me down Your path forever."  (The Voice)

I find it interesting that sandwiched between an opening acknowledgement of being known by God and closing permission granted to be examined by God is a listing of all the things God knew about David.  Why then, does he give God permission to know him at the end?  Doesn't God already know him? Didn't he just spend a lot of breath stating the obvious?

I believe it's significant.

Yes, God knows every detail of our lives.  Our birthdate, our death date.  How many hairs we have (or don't have).

When I choose the "public" option on my Facebook settings, I am agreeing to let everyone see everything I post.  I am opening myself up to their compliments and scrutiny. If I don't want that kind of vulnerability, I need to choose "private".

Giving God complete access to every area of our heart is like choosing the "public" option.  Oh yes - He already knows us.  But giving Him permission to really know us means that we are agreeing to let Him in.

So here's how I often pray......"Father, you know the hopes and dreams I hold inside.  You see the plans I am making based on desires I believe you have placed inside me.  But today, I give you permission to oversee them.  To put them in order according to Your plans.  Look inside me and see everything there is to see.  Search my intentions...and then show me.  I open my hands to You as symbol that my heart and life are completely open."

Your privacy settings ARE safe with God.  Giving Him permission is like choosing the 'public' setting though.  You are now taking everything to a new level of trust with Him.

Do you like yourself?

I awoke too early.  It's always extra early when I'm in Nashville, TN.   Because of the one hour difference in time zones, an already-early-riser is destined to be awake at very uncomfortable hours.

It was my first day to record vocals on my "Inside Things" project and that only added to my sleeplessness. I call it the "Nashville Adrenaline".  For some reason, I have boundless energy when I'm there.  I love being there, recording, writing and just spending time developing relationships in the music industry.  I don't do 'tourist' kinds of things.

If people ask me what to do when they visit Nashville, I recommend the Bluebird Cafe, The Pancake Pantry, and down-town Franklin, but other than that, most people will never see where I spend my time in town.  Studios, homes of friends, homes with studios and anywhere else my music takes me.  It's all about relationships and that's what I love most about Franklin and Nashville.

The first song we would be recording was "Wonderfully Created".  I had been inspired with the song idea just as I was leaving to spend the weekend at a slumber party for girls and their theme was Fearfully and Wonderfully Created.  It was a very unusual 'gig' and I was nervous about doing it. It had been a long time since I stayed up really, really late with a bunch of girls.

Just as I was packing up stuff in my studio, a little melody and phrase came to me and I've learned when that happens that the best thing I can do is sit down and let it flow.  The re-write will come later.  For now, just write what comes under inspiration.  You can sweat about it later.

Now, back in Nashville, I decided to read Psalm 139 again, hoping to refresh my soul with what my vocal cords would soon have to express. It would be just me and Mr. mic in the vocal booth for the day. The producer and engineer are in another room. I like it that way.

As I read through the familiar passage, as I had so many times before, something new caught my eye. Psalm 139:14 says "I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." (ESV).  I smiled and thought to myself; how nice that David can say that.  Suddenly, within my spirit, I sensed the voice of God's Spirit.  "I'd like you to thank me for making you".

WHAT???

I sat there, stunned. It was sweet to read of someone else having those sentiments.  But now I felt like God was asking me to acknowledge (out loud with my mouth) that I too was wonderfully created. "Such a beautiful song to sing - now I'd like you to believe it", He seemed to whisper.

It evoked such emotion in me that I was speechless.  Well...sort of.

"I don't have time for a therapy session right now, Lord, I said in my speechless state. I have to go record a song to share with people so they know how wonderful they are. And please don't make me thank you for making me complex TOO!.....like David did.  I hate my introspective, complex self. I'm weary of it.  Why can't I be care-free and simple?".

The conversation between He and I continued.

"I don't feel like I'm wonderful", I said. "In fact, most of the time I don't like myself at all. I never weigh the right amount, my teeth don't have that nice clean bite that most people have."  (I should have taken my mother up on the offer to get braces as a teenager, but I felt like she was insinuating that I wasn't pretty because of my teeth, so I resented her offering that.)  I was too young to process my thoughts at that age.  I'm sure she was only trying to help. I couldn't hear her well because my ears were plugged up with my own insecurity.

I wish I could re-do some things. How about you?

In response to my outburst with the Lord, I could hear His gentle whisper now.  "Just start.  Ok, so you can't be thankful that you are complex, can you start by thanking me for making you?"

I sat for a while.  I couldn't answer this right now.  But I did bow my head and ask Him to help me. "Thank you for making me", I said.  Half out loud and half not.

That was over 8 years ago.  Do I still have days when I don't like myself?  Absolutely!

Most recent photo shoot.
Showing my teeth.

I used to avoid smiling and showing my teeth at photo shoots because I don't like my teeth.  The photographer has to practically 'pull my teeth' to get me to show them.

But over time, I have been more intentional about thanking God out loud for making me when that dark cloud of self-hatred starts coming my way. As I learn to accept the complexity with which I operate from, He's also helping me to be more care-free and not take things so seriously.

As I cooperate with Him, He helps me to see myself in a much more positive light.

As I arrived at the studio that morning to start the project of "Inside Things", believe me, I had already had quite a work out on the inside things.  It started with Psalm 139.

So I ask you again.  Do you like yourself?

If this song can help you appreciate the beauty of how intricately you were made, then perhaps my little therapy session that morning was worth it.

View video/song here.

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 89 Sore Throats and Singers

I woke up this morning with a sore throat and when I looked in the mirror, noticed a very large white spot on my tonsil.

You guessed it.  I immediately thought....strep throat.

Not NOW!  I've been healthy all winter and just as my bookings pick up again, I wake up with a sore throat???

Tomorrow night I sing in front of 850+ people to help raise money for an agency that supports young women in their unplanned pregnancies as an alternative to abortion.  I plan to sing "Wonderfully Created" - a song I wrote based on Psalm 139.

I wonder how many dreams have been cut short by abortion?  Way too many.  I'm glad to be a part of this event.

Friday I head to New York to speak and sing all weekend.

Strep is a singer's dreaded disease (I know that we are not the only ones who don't want it!)  Neither does a dancer want a broken foot.

I stopped in at the local medical clinic on my way home from the church and after being tested negative for strep, went home thankful to at least know that it's not what I thought.  The white spot is apparently a cyst and has no correlation with the soreness.

Prayers are appreciated as I travel and minister this weekend.

For more information about Morning Star Pregnancy Services click here.  Tim Tebow's mother, Pam, will be the keynote speaker at the banquet tomorrow night.  I'm looking forward to hearing her story.