Everyone Needs A Set of These!

We all need them.

You can't grow in faith and courage without them.

I call them hearing aids. But not the kind you might be thinking of.

What kind of hearing aids?

They can come in the form of podcasts, audible books, paper books, mp3 players, movies, CDs and radio waves, etc.

They are tools that produce words that help us 'hear' better.

"So then, faith comes to us by hearing the Good News. And the Good News comes by someone preaching it." Romans 10:17 New Life Version.

What do you hear?

All day long I hear things.  Positive words.  Negative words.  They are inside me and also come from outside of me. Twenty minutes of listening to the news and I can instantly feel depressed, or elated. It depends on the message.

Over time, I'm learning how to tune into stations broadcasting words that bring faith and hope. I wish I could say that I don't need help with my thoughts and that my faith was always strong and steady. Truth is, I'm just not there yet, though I am improving.  I am learning how to choose what I will listen to, think on and ponder.  Both on the inside and from the outside.

Choosing good hearing aids.

It's easier to control my thoughts and feed my faith when I listen to uplifting things.  So I choose them often.  Music, podcasts, books...things that always leave me feeling like I CAN instead of I CAN'T.  Left to my own devices, I will tend toward thinking I CAN'T.  

So I'm not ashamed to say that I need hearing aids.  

When my Mother was being fitted for a pair of high-tech hearing aids, I was intrigued by the testing they did on her to find out what frequencies she couldn't hear.  Everyone is different.  Some lose ability to hear bass frequencies first. Others lose the mid-range.

Many people put off getting a set of hearing aids until they can't function in society anymore and realize they need assistance.  They miss out on so much because they won't admit they need help. But how many of us go through life emotionally or mentally deaf and wait until we are too far gone to get help for other kinds of hearing.

Everyone is different in the aid that they need.  Some tend more toward negative thoughts when it comes to fears.  Others have a deficit in the area of love or joy. 

Do you have ideas about leading a group of people toward healing from past relational issues?  Then listen to things that teach you about leadership and be inspired to lead others.

Do you need help getting your life organized?  Listen to books or podcasts that teach you how to manage your time.

Do you need an overall better outlook on life?  Listen to positive, upbeat music. Change the playlist until you find what feeds you!

If you would spend any amount of time with me, you would quickly learn that I am almost always listening to something.  I invest plenty of time in being quiet too, but when I'm exercising or driving or even working in the yard, I will be listening and learning.  It feeds my faith.  It helps me be a better leader.  It helps me dream and sustain those dreams.

It's my own tailored set of hearing aids.  

Want to grow in your faith?  You have to hear the right things!

Go get yourself some hearing aids.

"Seedy" Generosity

When I plant seeds, this is how I tend to sow:
Sparingly enough to get one flower.

But this is how I want to sow:

Generously enough to have plenty to give away.

I confess.

I'm greedy.

I hoard.

I'm afraid I won't have enough.

I don't know why.

I used to buy a pack of zinnia seeds and plant each little seed with care, trying not to drop any. None to spare. It's tedious!

Last year I saved the dead flowers because they contain seeds.  I ended up with so many seeds that this year I could have planted a field. Because I had so many to spare, I recklessly threw them across the ground knowing that even if only 1/4 of them come up, I'll have more than I need.

THAT was fun!

I was generous this year because I knew I had plenty to spare.

I was hoarding before because I was afraid I wouldn't have enough.

Therein lies the difference. How I view the source from which I give.

If I believe there is enough to go around, I give generously.

If I fear losing the little I have, I will never share.

There's a saying that always makes me stop and think. 

"I could give all that I have to feed the poor, I could surrender my body to be burned as a martyr, but if I do not live in love, I gain nothing by my selfless acts."  I Cor. 13:3 (The Voice)

That explains "seedy" generosity.  It looks great to others. But....it is tainted by fear, lack and obligation. Sharing it will only reap more fear, lack and obligation. It doesn't sprout from deep love. 

Father God, please change my heart. Let me see how much I have to share and give it away generously. Help me to stop being clouded by fear of the future. When I do give, please let it be from a deep reservoir of grace, mercy and abundance, not out of fear, lack and obligation.

Do you like yourself?

I awoke too early.  It's always extra early when I'm in Nashville, TN.   Because of the one hour difference in time zones, an already-early-riser is destined to be awake at very uncomfortable hours.

It was my first day to record vocals on my "Inside Things" project and that only added to my sleeplessness. I call it the "Nashville Adrenaline".  For some reason, I have boundless energy when I'm there.  I love being there, recording, writing and just spending time developing relationships in the music industry.  I don't do 'tourist' kinds of things.

If people ask me what to do when they visit Nashville, I recommend the Bluebird Cafe, The Pancake Pantry, and down-town Franklin, but other than that, most people will never see where I spend my time in town.  Studios, homes of friends, homes with studios and anywhere else my music takes me.  It's all about relationships and that's what I love most about Franklin and Nashville.

The first song we would be recording was "Wonderfully Created".  I had been inspired with the song idea just as I was leaving to spend the weekend at a slumber party for girls and their theme was Fearfully and Wonderfully Created.  It was a very unusual 'gig' and I was nervous about doing it. It had been a long time since I stayed up really, really late with a bunch of girls.

Just as I was packing up stuff in my studio, a little melody and phrase came to me and I've learned when that happens that the best thing I can do is sit down and let it flow.  The re-write will come later.  For now, just write what comes under inspiration.  You can sweat about it later.

Now, back in Nashville, I decided to read Psalm 139 again, hoping to refresh my soul with what my vocal cords would soon have to express. It would be just me and Mr. mic in the vocal booth for the day. The producer and engineer are in another room. I like it that way.

As I read through the familiar passage, as I had so many times before, something new caught my eye. Psalm 139:14 says "I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." (ESV).  I smiled and thought to myself; how nice that David can say that.  Suddenly, within my spirit, I sensed the voice of God's Spirit.  "I'd like you to thank me for making you".

WHAT???

I sat there, stunned. It was sweet to read of someone else having those sentiments.  But now I felt like God was asking me to acknowledge (out loud with my mouth) that I too was wonderfully created. "Such a beautiful song to sing - now I'd like you to believe it", He seemed to whisper.

It evoked such emotion in me that I was speechless.  Well...sort of.

"I don't have time for a therapy session right now, Lord, I said in my speechless state. I have to go record a song to share with people so they know how wonderful they are. And please don't make me thank you for making me complex TOO!.....like David did.  I hate my introspective, complex self. I'm weary of it.  Why can't I be care-free and simple?".

The conversation between He and I continued.

"I don't feel like I'm wonderful", I said. "In fact, most of the time I don't like myself at all. I never weigh the right amount, my teeth don't have that nice clean bite that most people have."  (I should have taken my mother up on the offer to get braces as a teenager, but I felt like she was insinuating that I wasn't pretty because of my teeth, so I resented her offering that.)  I was too young to process my thoughts at that age.  I'm sure she was only trying to help. I couldn't hear her well because my ears were plugged up with my own insecurity.

I wish I could re-do some things. How about you?

In response to my outburst with the Lord, I could hear His gentle whisper now.  "Just start.  Ok, so you can't be thankful that you are complex, can you start by thanking me for making you?"

I sat for a while.  I couldn't answer this right now.  But I did bow my head and ask Him to help me. "Thank you for making me", I said.  Half out loud and half not.

That was over 8 years ago.  Do I still have days when I don't like myself?  Absolutely!

Most recent photo shoot.
Showing my teeth.

I used to avoid smiling and showing my teeth at photo shoots because I don't like my teeth.  The photographer has to practically 'pull my teeth' to get me to show them.

But over time, I have been more intentional about thanking God out loud for making me when that dark cloud of self-hatred starts coming my way. As I learn to accept the complexity with which I operate from, He's also helping me to be more care-free and not take things so seriously.

As I cooperate with Him, He helps me to see myself in a much more positive light.

As I arrived at the studio that morning to start the project of "Inside Things", believe me, I had already had quite a work out on the inside things.  It started with Psalm 139.

So I ask you again.  Do you like yourself?

If this song can help you appreciate the beauty of how intricately you were made, then perhaps my little therapy session that morning was worth it.

View video/song here.

The power of washing feet.

Mother and I in our old farm kitchen...1970's??

Mother and I July of 2014

In many ways my mother and I are about as different as night and day. I'm thankful for these later years together because it has given me a chance to discover many similarities I didn't know we had.

The pictures make a good visual of how our lives have changed over the years.  Here are just a few of our differences:

She had five children.  I have none.
She loved being a mother.  I'll never know what that feels like biologically.
She loved to cook.  I don't like to cook, but I do because she showed me by example.
I have chosen a career in music.  She doesn't relate to that kind of life at all.
I ride a motorcycle.  She doesn't like that so much but tries to smile about it.
She still wears a prayer covering.  I don't...but I still pray.

And the list goes on.  But you get the idea.

To be completely honest, through the years this has created some tension.  And that's putting it mildly. Learning how to be a good daughter when there are so many differences created its challenges.

There's an old tradition we used to practice in the church background I come from.  It's called 'foot-washing'.  I remember when we would sit very reverently in the church pews, men in one room and women in another.  It was a very sacred event and one that I treasure.

With white towel-like aprons, tubs of bleach and hot water...well, semi-hot water, you would kneel in front of the person next to you, take one foot in your hand and gently scoop the water up over it. Then the other foot.  Next you would hold one foot in your hand on your lap and dry it with your towel. When you were finished both parties would stand and embrace as a sign of unity.

It wasn't so much about getting feet clean as it was letting them know that you cared about them. You humbled yourself in front of them to honor them.  It was hard to do this with someone you were angry with but that was kind of the point.  The room was filled with the smell of bleach and the sound of beautiful harmonies as we sang familiar songs together without any instruments.

I have often compared these last few years with my mother to those early years of childhood when I learned to wash the feet of other sisters.  It's not that I sit and wash my mother's feet, though I have certainly helped her shower, etc.  I trim her nails, tuck her in bed, comb her hair, hold her hand.

But it's more about the position she has been forced into by losing her sense of independence and my willingness to set aside our differences and serve her. It's not easy for these precious elders to let go of all that they know and become so dependent on others.  I cry often for them.  For her.

But what seems to happen in the process, at least in my case, is a gentle breaking down of walls between us.  Just these physical acts alone seem to bring about a deeper love and respect toward each other.

So many times on facebook when I post something I've done with my mother, people comment as to what a wonderful daughter I am.  I sigh and shake my head. I don't feel like one.  I just want you to know that it has not been perfect for us.  I hope this helps other daughters who have struggled in the past with their mothers.  Hang in there.  You might not need to 'wash her feet' per se, but welcome any kind of act you can do toward her to embrace humility and extend honor.  You'll be surprised what can happen in your own heart.

We don't practice foot-washing anymore in most communities of faith and I feel sad that we don't. But I get to practice humility and gentle acts of love every week for my mother and I wouldn't have it any other way.