Putting Feet To Your Dreams

It seemed so simple at the time.

Finish writing christmas songs, make a CD and then hire an orchestra and do a show. Oh, I knew it would be challenging, but the truth is, I had no idea HOW challenging. I didn't know it would take every ounce of creativity, faith and resource I had, plus generosity and support from others on so many levels.

Now that I'm on the other side of that dream, I realize that I've crossed over into a new season. I have woken up from the dream and can sort out what is reality and what is probably unrealistic.  My steps are much more decisive and my senses are sharply tuned into the seriousness of the dream.

On the day of the Portraits of White show last December, I did a concert over lunch for hundreds of women at a church in York and the following weekend I had three smaller events to do, and when I came home from that mini-tour in Northern PA, I found myself completely wiped out. There are many days that I am still feeling the affects of it. I carried this vision in my soul for years. I did not anticipate such a long recovery period after 'waking up'.

Friends of mine began to sheepishly ask (or else it seemed so) how I was doing 'after the show'. Those who know me well know that the 'after show' affects can be pretty monumental for creativity of this magnitude.  I appreciated their concern.  It was totally proper for them to check in on me and make sure I was ok. There is such excitement leading up to the moment and it's quite normal for a big let down to show up afterward.

The let down never came.  The overwhelming feeling that stayed with me and frankly, has never left, was a sense of soberness.

I think what has transpired is a shift from dreaming to walking.  My original dream was to do the show annually and build it to be something that folks would look forward to attending every year.  A night of music and inspiration to welcome them into the rush of the season in a gentle way. I still hope for that.

After having gone through it once, though, I now have a much more realistic picture of what will have to happen to see this come true.  I have taken months to ponder, pray, meet with others to evaluate last year's show and gather new information about this year's possibilities. It is a full time job. It is no longer a dream as such.  It is a walk that takes commitment almost every day with every breath that I have. The mystique of the dream has vanished.

When I met with the conductor in February, he cautioned me to make this decision carefully.  I have heeded his warning.

Part of my walk is to start blogging about it again.  I've rested from that for a season and have enjoyed blogging about other 'inside things'.  I think it's time to start putting my thoughts out there again.  I want to include you in my thought process again.  I found such support by doing that last year.

It also serves as a way of mentoring others who may be waking up from a dream and wondering what to do about it.

All I know is that there comes a time when you must put feet to your dreams and sometimes, your feet may get sore.  Make sure you're ready.

Anyone can dream.  Not everyone can find the wherewithal to see it through.

The Time Has Come!

A celebration gift from my friend.

I'm sitting in the hotel in Nashville waiting for my first meeting of the day.  I have two friends with me who have been such supporters of my vision and journey.  Last night when we settled into the hotel, Ellen presented me with a little elephant in celebration of making it this far.  She has followed my blog and given me unique gifts along the way.  I treasure them (the gifts and the friends)!

It was a great reminder that over a year ago I began to share my dream of doing not only a CD, but a big Christmas concert too.  All of it has come about "one bite at a time".  That was the theme of last year's blog - "The Elephant Diet" - accomplishing your dreams and goals one bite at a time, amidst all the hurdles and setbacks.

Ellen and her mother know all about dreams and what it takes to see them through.  She is a ballet dancer and applies herself with serious discipline.  She's not even 16 yet, but she gets this.  And thanks to her mom, Lisa, and the dedication to her daughter, she is able to pursue her dreams.

Tonight I get to rehearse with the orchestra and conductor and put feet to this dream.  It is now in motion in full force and it was nice to have the little elephant gift last night to remind me that anything is possible!

The first blog where I mention my idea of a christmas show.

"The Elephant Diet" Day 28

Another amazing day.

Started out early having breakfast with a new found friend.  What a rich conversation.  I am continually amazed at the people God brings into my life and how He seems to order our steps, even when we're not sure He is.

This afternoon I met with the orchestra conductor and his wife in their home.  I heard him conduct an orchestra at an event back in the beginning of December and have been in touch via e-mail ever since.

He is going to orchestrate an arrangement of "Joy To The World" that I posted weeks ago.  I will be anxious to hear what he does with the song.   I decided, after meeting with him for a couple of hours and feeling quite comfortable, that I would hire him to do this song.

Though I arranged it on the piano, I envision playing it with other instruments.  I am not attached to what I've done on the piano, (at least I think I'm not) so I gave him complete freedom to run with it and will see (or hear) what happens.  I am learning that letting other people do what they do best can only bring about good things.

It was so inspiring to think that I've come this far in my musical journey. Approach a conductor???  Are you kidding? Some days I think "of course this is the next step!"  Other days I think "who on earth do I think I am......what am I thinking?"

This is a fun stage.   I feel like a toddler.  One minute I march forward with confidence, next minute I bump into a table and fall down and cry, wondering what I'm trying to do here.  Then I hear from some of you and am so glad to know that I am not going this alone!

I will be excited to hear what he does.  "Does he hear what I hear?".....oh....that's a christmas tune isn't it.

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 12

I'm so tired! I have to confess, I crashed a bit today. It's been so busy with concerts the past two nights in a row, working at the church, keeping up with home stuff and the Christmas project I'm blogging about.

I came home from working at the church and working out at the gym and my brain was so exhausted I didn't think I could carry on in any kind of creative venture today.

In spite of exhaustion, I did listen to some music that the orchestra conductor sent me and have been pondering how best to proceed with him. Do I have him listen to what I'm writing and see if he is inspired by it and can write orchestration for my songs for a live show? Or do I record the songs first and then come back to him with the finished product and have him write arrangements for a live show then? And how much will his work cost? So many decisions!

I also spent some time listing all the songs I've written relating to Christmas and the popular tunes I'd like to record too and I have too many for one project. That means I will have to cut some out. Ouch!!!!

For now.....it's back to the church tonight for rehearsal and service planning.

"The Elephant Diet" Day # 11

Concert at Menno Haven, PA

My mother listens to my program

A few very cool things happened tonight in relation to my CD project.

I gave a short concert at the retirement home where my mother lives.

Someone from the community who is on my mailing list must have seen the date scheduled on my calendar and came to the concert.  She first heard me years ago in MD at another concert.

She came up after the program and asked if I've ever considered doing a Christmas CD.  For the first time in years, I was able to respond by saying, "yes, I have committed to doing one!".  Usually I say, I hope to someday, or I don't know if I'll ever get to do one or not.  But tonight, I could say YES and I felt like shouting it out!!!

The other neat thing that happened was that after my concert, I checked my e-mail and discovered that an orchestra conductor I contacted recently about doing orchestral arrangements and conducting for a Christmas show (to celebrate the completion of the CD) finally got back to me and is available to meet and listen to what I'm writing and see what he thinks about writing arrangements for the songs.

I am quite excited!  Onward we move!!!

Now...I'll go eat some of the fresh chocolate chip cookies I just took out of the oven.....joined by my husband.